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Do Your Belief Structures And Behavior Patterns Block Your Success?

By Yaro Starak
94 Comments

Are You Aware Of Your Blind Spots?

I’m a fence sitter. This can at times be a hindrance, but if balanced well, it’s an advantage.

What I mean by this is I don’t 100% commit to a point of view. I have a point of view, but it’s not so rigid that I will default to it without being capable of seeing other points of view.

Actually, that’s not entirely true. No doubt thanks to learned behaviors and pure animal instinct, I do default to certain behaviors in given circumstances, but for the sake of this article let’s focus on issues that we can consciously make a decision about using our awareness. These are areas of our lives that are open to interpretation.

My fence sitting stems from an understanding that everyone sees the world through different glasses. We all perceive things differently, and in our own minds we make choices based on how we see things at the time. There is no right or wrong, only perception and choice, which is how we drive our entire lives.

Since you can’t share someone else’s physical experience (you can’t borrow their senses or mind and see what is it like to “be” them), you have to go with your own perception, which unfortunately can be very dangerous if you start to form rigid belief structures.

Are You Open Minded?

Most people, especially in liberal cultures gifted with plenty of freedom, like to think of themselves as open minded. You likely feel the same, saving your judgments until you’ve had a chance to weigh up the options, opinions and data until you feel comfortable enough to make a decision.

Open mindedness is good, however it can slow you down. If you’re willing to assess information before making a conclusion, you have to invest time and energy into the process. Sometimes there just isn’t enough time to do this and that’s when intuition and experience, or as Malcolm Gladwell calls it – a Blink moment – comes in handy.

A Blink moment refers to the ability of the mind to process data at instantaneous speed, forming an opinion and coming to a conclusion in a matter of seconds, if that. Malcolm Gladwell calls it rapid cognition.

The idea here is that the mind is capable of taking all kinds of inputs, including what data it is receiving from the body’s senses in the moment, plus previous experience, to decipher a conclusion. This is why your first answer is usually the right answer.

While you might think of yourself as open minded, if you’re human your response is instant judgment. We judge at the speed of blink, very quickly forming opinion based on what we see, hear or feel, using our own personal preferences to decide what we like and don’t like and how we respond to a situation.

There’s nothing wrong with this, but it’s important you are aware of it. We like to bend the world into the frame that best matches our present state. Our snap judgments are reflections of how we choose to see situations at a given point in time. We want to make sure we are “right” in what we are doing and thinking based on our current opinion. If you aren’t aware of these tendencies, you can find yourself trapped into patterns that may make you blind to seeing things in a different, more beneficial light.

This is why fence sitting can be an advantage. Although you have to be careful not to sit on the fence permanently, as not making a decision can be detrimental, having a flexible world view gives you the power to adjust and respond to things as needed. It gives you control and thus freedom over your reality, as counter intuitive as that might sound (a dichotomy).

Your Patterns of Behavior Are Anchors

We are all creatures of habit. One of the greatest challenges to learning something new and growing is your capability to step out of your comfort zone.

Most of us are held back by the patterns we have developed and the comfort zone we live in. It’s natural for us to do this since we look for ways to make our lives more comfortable.

Most of modern society’s advances focus on improving the “quality” of our lives, which means faster, more convenient, less work and above all else – “better” than what has come before.

Unfortunately as is often the case, quicker and easier doesn’t mean better, and most things in life that give us real meaning and substance are not instant achievements.

We derive more satisfaction from what requires more of us. Usually it is our patterns of behavior that make us look for the easy way out. We are comfortable doing things the same way and uncomfortable doing things we have never done before. This unfortunately can blindside us from what is really worth doing.

Knowing and Then Doing What You Don’t Know

One of the most interesting concepts when it comes to learning something new is the idea of discovering what you don’t know that you don’t know.

It’s the “ah-ha” moment, when you come to an awareness you didn’t even realize a problem was there holding you back, or you have a behavior pattern consistently resulting in the same outcome, even though you want something different.

Uncovering what results you are reinforcing based on your current actions and what you need to know and then do to change this, is the first step towards creating what you want in life. Unless you are prepared to completely re-wire some of your belief structures and destroy your old patterns, once you find them, you won’t experience what you desire.

In other words, you first need the ingredients to enter your awareness as a possibility before you have even a hope of achieving what you want. Without tools and a map, you’re going to keep walking the same circles you have always walked, because you’ve programmed yourself to do so.

Are You Lying To Yourself?

If you’re new to self assessment, the process of discovering your patterns can be quite difficult. It literally takes an entirely new way of thinking. It’s like stepping out of your body and mind to watch what it does, then slap it into awareness whenever you notice something needs to change.

Why this is hard is because you are trying to change things you currently believe are true, based on your actions. Even if you consider yourself flexible and open minded, if your immediate response thought and your actions don’t reflect this (your snap judgments and actions repeat), then you’re not really changing.

It’s nice to think of yourself in a certain way, that you are capable of change, but if your real-world actions don’t reflect this, you are pandering to your own sense of self, your ego and belief structures about what kind of person you are.

You are basically believing what you think you are, even if you really aren’t there yet. This is natural of course, as we all operate within our own boundaries and thus justify why we do as the right choice for us right now.

If you want to change, you need to be harsh sometimes about what really is the truth regarding the choices you make. It’s seeing a new reality about yourself that you don’t like, which triggers the push to finally act to create change, rather than just be comfortable thinking you can make the change whenever you want to (and never do, or do so only when it is too late).

Examples Of Common Belief Patterns

Since you are reading this blog and have read this article up to this point, you are likely a practitioner of what I call “meta-thinking“.

Meta-Thinking is a phrase I coined (a language identifier), that describes the process of assessing what’s going on behind the scenes. I described this idea as it relates to analyzing the world around you, in particular business, in this article -

Are You a Master of Meta-Thinking?

The meta aspect of your own decision making process is vitally important to become aware of too. Watching how you see the world, especially your immediate judgments, can be a very eye-opening experience (or perhaps mind-opening is a better phrase).

To help you practice your study of self, here are some common situations we face as humans and some as Internet marketers. Starting today, if you don’t already, monitor how you react to these types of situations -

A lot of people won’t buy products that are sold via long form sales page and consequently couldn’t imagine ever using them to sell their own products or services. Some people think that all testimonials are lies, and thus won’t use them (or now the FTC might stop you!).

You may have a blockage around creating your own product because you don’t see anything you can create as valuable enough for others to buy. Or you may believe that you have to basically lie and cheat and use all those horrible launch tricks in order to convince people to buy what you have, and you just don’t want to become another annoying marketer.

Right now you have a way of looking at everything around you. Your perception dictates what you do and don’t do. Unless you are willing to change how you see things, who you surround yourself with, how you do things and ultimately, how you think, you are going to repeat the same patterns and earn the same results.

The examples above don’t include a “correct” way to look at each situations, they are merely common scenarios we face. If you start to watch how you react you’ve taken the first step because you have opened a new window of awareness – you know what is true to you right now – which means it becomes a variable you can play with rather than just default to.

How To Break Patterns

Once you become aware of how you think, perceive and thus do, you have a starting point for breaking patterns and belief structures that are not beneficial to what you want to create in your life.

Next you need to assess what you want to change, discover the patterns that are holding you back or reinforcing what you don’t want, then find the behaviors that lead to what you do want, and start putting them into practice instead.

In order to help you do this, I’ve found the following set of principles extremely beneficial -

Master of Your Universe

It’s a sobering idea that we are entirely responsible for everything we have and don’t have. If you truly grasp this idea it can be very empowering, but can easily depress you too, depending how you look at it.

As with everything in life, how you feel is dictated entirely by how you choose to see things. Opening your eyes to your own behaviors and seeing what doesn’t help you create the truth you want to experience, is an incredibly powerful insight. Knowing this idea alone is enough to start you down a path that could lead you to exactly what you think you want.

Yaro Starak
Pattern Interrupter

About Yaro Starak

Yaro Starak is the author of the Blog Profits Blueprint, a report you can download instantly to learn how to make $10,000 a month, from only blogging 2 hours per day. You can find Yaro on Facebook, Twitter and .

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94 Comments

  • As always Yaro, a well thought through and challenging post.

    One thing I would add though is this: I’ve noticed a huge trend in bloggers and internet marketers recently to keep changing things – it’s almost the opposite of the paralysis you describe.

    Traffic not building? – new design, new URL. E Book not selling? Change the price, write a new one. Membership site building too slowly? Can it, and move on to a new project.

    My battle with the students I work with is to get them to keep working at something, assuming their original objectives are sound, and to realize that things won’t work unless they consistently apply themselves to them.

    That’s the pattern I want to interrupt.

    • Good point Mike and I agree that little bit of patience is required when blogging. This doesn’t mean that don’t change anything, but only change what actually needs to be changed. If something needs to be changed, there should be a sound reason why the change needs to be done, or is it something else that needs a fix.

      So instead of shooting blind and taking wild guesses on what might work, concentrate on improving and doing more of the things that are working (80/20). If you take even a short moment to pause and plan things a bit, whether you’re starting a new or considering changing something, you’ll thank yourself tomorrow (or the next year).

      • Yes, I’ve struggle more with the sticking to things part than the switching things part. I like what you said though, Antti, about changing things that will lead to progress. Change is really pointless on it’s own. Change should always be for a reason.

        -Marshall Jones Jr.

    • Mike,

      I couldn’t agree more – you are dead right! Us entrepreneurs and marketers aren’t exactly known for patience and this most definitely creates the cycle you’re reffing to.

      It becomes a difficult decision: when to change things drastically and when to keep doing what you’re doing and pushing forward.

      It’s not ALWAYS wrong to make abrupt changes when something isn’t going the way you want it to, but I agree that it seems that most of us have a tendency to change our path too quickly.

      Coach Donnelly

    • Hi Mike,

      You’re spot on here. It’s too easy to chop/change when things don’t work.

      I give every project 6 months grace before deciding whether to go/no go any further.

      From what I’ve seen, if you see stick with it for the 6 months, the project begins to succeed anyway.

      Most bloggers’ big mistake is that they have no business plan.

      and without a plan, you have no direction.

      Ivan

      from a freezing Beijing

  • Good article Yaro
    I think it’s worth insisting that change is inherently built into us, we are never constant and no two behavioural thought patterns or mental limitations ever repeat themselves in reality exactly the same way.

    All you need is belief in your self to be who you are and who you choose to be… That should sound familiar ;-)

    • Nice to have you here again Al :-)

      If only we could sit on the couch and just let all the changes we want manifest from us (has anyone ever actually tested this idea?).

      For most people the big picture interpretation of the changes in their lives is close enough to a pattern for it to limit them, even if every moment of every person’s life is unique and distinct from every other moment.

      All you need is love right Al ;-)

      • The main block comes from the safety of the comfort zone. Whether it is for an individual or an organization, once a pattern of doing things sets in, great effort is needed to move from that position of familiarity.

  • Great post Yaro.

    I really agree with The Theory of Constraints teachings and learnt a massive amount from Rich Schefren’s training based on this. We can think we have a number of constraints we need to eliminate that are holding us back, when often it can boil down to one constraint that, if eliminated, has an immediate impact on the others, and gives us greater leverage in achieving what we want, hence the obvious link with the 80/20 rule. There will always be other constraints that then crop up, but eliminating the one that has tended to become a pattern in your life can make a massive difference.

    Thanks and hope to see more posts and your views on this.

    All the best

    Tamsin@nudgeme

  • Some “liberal minded” people can be the quickest to jump to conclusions. They actually condemn very quickly anyone who not as liberal as them.

    I am very happy to be a fence sitter and aim at objectivity. It’s a huge advantage for learning. I listen much longer before taking a side if I ever do.

    • I think I need to work on my own objectivity. I definitely jump to conclusions quickly and I’m often stubborn to change those conclusions. That may blind me from the actual truth sometimes.

    • Objectivity and analysis, being an Electronics Engineer by profession This trait is now embedded in me. A fundamental trait that is essential to being a good engineer.
      I have been accused of being too analytical by those who do not possess that ability.
      So be it.
      Many get most of their exercise by jumping to conclusions.
      So I must agree with you.
      Two ears and one mouth means we listen twice as much as we talk.

  • Good one Yaro,

    I appreciate your insight in the field of Personal Development and Personal Change too. I also like the way concepts are presented in this blogpost. Keep posting good work like this…

    To add to the ongoing topic’s discussion, let me write few things( I hope that may add some value):

    Someone has said, “There is only one thing that is permanent in life; and that is CHANGE”. Sounds good! Yet, change is the most difficult thing to implement for a human being.

    The core beliefs that have taken roots inside our psyche since our early life experiences can not be shaken easilly. It is the process of de-structuring the old and restructuring with new empowering beliefs.

    When someone tries to move out of his comfort zone, automatic defence processes create life events and emotional symptoms that stops the one from going ahead.

    Few strategies can help:

    1. Awareness about this transient obstacles and methods (like mindfulness, various relaxation techniques etc.) to handle them need to be set before the actual process of change is initiated

    2. Frustration can take over the person’s mind during the process, as the process of change is not of simple gradual progressive recovery. Instead, it is with Ups and Downs. You may come across the phase inbetween, when you feel very low and find that all the efforts have gone into vain. Having support systems in place during this phase is critical.

    3. Building one important concept in the begining can help. That is, I am in the process of change from my current situation to the desired one. Even if somethings does not work out well, at least there is not much to lose as I will fall back to my current state. Although some may not agree with this, I think it motivates many to keep working towards their goal.

    4. Setting goals for desired behaviours and chuking them down to small achievable parts is also critical. There is no need to speed up the process, instead keep working on achievable goals, stretch a little everytime you have achieved your target, and surely in this way, one will get the momentum.

    Ending by quotting Richard Bach,
    “No one can predict to what heights you can soar; Even you will not realize it untill you spread your wings!”

    Open for discussion…

    I love your work Yaro. EJ is the place where I always want to spend my time in.

    With warm regards,
    Dr. Sudeep Srhoff

  • Yaro,

    I think you are the only online marketer that thinks about these things. I sell fair trade items and am completely absorbed with social enterprise (I was completely impressed when you brought up the idea in the Adam Short interview that we could be exploiting the Philippine people who we hire for next to nothing to write our articles and eBooks!)…so I fall into the category of not believing the testimonials and I don’t like long sales copy. And the people who buy fair trade usually fall into that category, as well.

    I think, like most things in life (besides “all you need is love”) is to be yourself…or, to say it another way…to be authentic. I think people love you (and I am one of them) because you are authentic. And you are aware and think about things. I think people crave authenticity and truth.

    Keep it up, Jedi Yaro. May the Force continue to be with you.

    Warmest regards,
    Lisa

  • Good topic. Yes, I enjoy taking a step back and look at the situation I am in or even stuck in. Why? is it good or is it bad? are good questions to ask. If things or myself are really stuck, it generally is because the rational mind had taken over the instinct, the gut feeling, the wider picture. So I listen to the feeling and go with it. Perseverance, however, is my best friend in this little game of assessment, I have learnt not to throw in the towel just because something didn’t work the way I thought or wished – I reassess, correct the trajectory, gauge the gut feeling and then move forward – relieved to chuck out the superfluous 80%.

    • I agree with everything that Peggy says. When things don’t go my way, I usually take one step back and analyze but this only happens when I’m not reacting instinctively; then, I don’t think and it’s only later that I sit down and go through the experience and question why I acted or thought the way I did.

      This is very helpful, Yaro. It gets me thinking and questioning myself; I like posts that do that. Keep it up, Blogging Philosopher AND pattern Interrupter.

  • Thanks you Yaro for another great post. One of the biggest challenge I faced is to change and to get out of the comfort zone, eventhough deep inside we know that we can achieve more if we make the move. I guess that all lies in the lack of courage and the habit to procrastinate.
    Guess I need to break the pattern

    Great work Yaro, you are the man

  • A very well constructed post Yaro! As I once again change my major focus in regards to my businesses I see habit patterns that do need to shift. The “Blink moment” or intuition is key in acting fast. Each idea that comes to me and feels right is acted upon IMMEDIATELY! With my new blog http://www.talkinaboutmygeneration.com
    my children’s books, or any of the other businesses I create are set up and then tweaked.

    I think the adage
    “Ready, Fire, Aim!” is appropriate

    Thanks for the posting

    David C Gross

  • Change is hard. One the of the most important changes I’ve made – and I still struggle with it – is to get an hour’s work done BEFORE checking email.

    It ALWAYS works, when I do it. But I’ve already checked my email this morning… thus I’m here writing a comment rather than working on billable work for a client.

    I better get back to work.

    • Good tip, Dave! I’ve forced myself to do the OPPOSITE in the past: get through my morning email and other “busy” work before I “get” to do my fun work like writing and creating new products and marketing plans.

      But you know, it IS easy to get sidetracked by opening email first thing in the morning. I’ll have to shake things up and try it your way for awhile – see which method gets more done for me.

      Coach Donnelly

  • I used to break the pattern only for personal satisfaction. Your post make me think more.
    Thank you for great insight.

  • Your Message

    Yaro,

    I really appreciate this article because it gives you a “nudge” when you’re straddling the fence. Being able to assess what’s working and make the necessary adjustments is crucial to one’s success. Applying the 80/20 Rule and taking action is vital. Being creatures of habit, finding the weakest link in our thinking and eliminating it by taking fast and deliberate action will help us break through some of the barriers that have been holding us back.

    With 2010 on the horizon, Yaro, you timed this article perfectly!

    Thanks, my friend, for encouraging me to think a little deeper, again.

  • I fall into the category of hating long copy, testimonials and so on. I need to get past my reluctance to use them since they seem to work for people. But then, if I do that, am I contributing to the continuation of the practice?

    I also struggle with the idea that anyone would want an information product from me, although I know that I have many good ideas to share. I’m working on an e-book and I’m constantly battling the idea nagging at me that it is a waste of time. I know that it isn’t, but the idea keeps popping up. Then there is also the marketing aspect that brings me back to the first point again.

    Thanks for the encouragement!

  • Terrific observations.

    The older people are, the more resistant to changing patterns they can be. I often suggest that people condition themselves for change by starting with small, seemingly insignificant patterns, such as the order in which you get dressed in the morning, and learning to adapt to the disorientation that comes with change.

    Joan

    • Great post — full of useful guidance.

      Openmindedness could never be a hindrance, except where coupled with an inability to direct one’s awareness. Then again, that would be a hindrance even when a person was closeminded. In my view, openmindedness is like empathy — it’s impossible to get too much of it.

      Great use of the 80/20 rule. I don’t know if you’ve heard of the Bikini Concept (I didn’t invent it), but you should look it up. It’s more of a 90/10 rule related to sales.

      “You can give 90 percent of it away, but people are still going to pay to get that extra ten percent.”

  • Great post Yaro!
    Perhaps going out of the comfort zone is one of the best experience one can have no matter whether we’re talking about business, studies or work.
    Many of my successes came from breaking rules and going for the unpredictable. That was always a good experience and thus I recommend boldness!

    Cheers!

  • Yaro, this was an excellent article. This whole idea of choosing how you see things and react to them based on it is what creates ones life day in and day out and I find it more then just fascinating. The unfortunate thing I see is that most people don’t recognize that they spend their whole life viewing and reacting to things b/c of some decision they created long ago and now everything they do and learn really gets registered only through those old views – open mindedness tends to get lost there…

  • Yaro, this was an excellent article. This whole idea of choosing how you see things and react to them based on it is what creates ones life day in and day out and I find it more then just fascinating. The unfortunate thing I see is that most people don’t recognize that they spend their whole life viewing and reacting to things b/c of some decision they created long ago and now everything they do and learn really gets registered only through those old views – open mindedness tends to get lost there…

  • Yaro … Are you familiar with Personality Testing or Brain-Typing? … I would be interested in learning your Myers Briggs profile? (I’m an INFJ and I would guess that you are either an INFP or INFJ) … thanks for sharing … K

    • I can’t remember for sure K, but I think I was an INTP – from back in university days.

  • Hi Yaro,
    Another beneficial tip for those of us who are trying to monetize blogs…
    Eating a better quality diet helps. Not only to sit longer, but to think of and utilize those new ideas. Eating fast food, fatty foods only impedes blood flow, making you lethargic of mind and body. (Especially, those of us who are nearing or over 40)
    Thanks,
    J.Gib!

  • PJ

    I am so much of a fence sitter that I am not doing anything! I want to start some kind of netbiz, I have few hundred bookmarks and order few products on the net. The problem is that the more I order the more I wasnt to order. It seems like an endless loop and I am now REALLY discouraged, so discouraged that I sit on the fence. How difficult is it to launch something??I am not talking about making thousands a month…hundred will suffice…but here is the problem..WHERE DO I Start? Please any help witll be appreciated!!!

  • Agree with J.Gib totally. Alkalizing diets are so crucial (I write this as I’m enjoying beet juice with lime — yum-bo!)

    Being alkalized is a huge pick-me-up. Fresh veggie juice in the morning is way better than coffee. My choice — have them both together! That’s my secret to the idealized 4-hour workweek!

  • Thanks Yaro, another amazing post, i am in the process of writing my first ebook to sell, which is exciting and scary at the same time. But it is time I took the leap of faith and push myself to make changes and really succeed online.
    Thanks for all your encouraging words.
    Have a Merry Christmas and a may next year be a successful one for everyone.

    Tina

  • Hello Yaro,

    Interesting post, actually I really do know something about
    my ‘Blind Spots’, the VISION ebook I wrote is partly inspired by it!

    Compelling concept this ‘knowing what you don’t know’, like the Indians that couldn’t see Columbus Sail Boat, but could see by the unusual wave patterns that there had to be something out there.

    I have an Interesting Paradox here, How about this persistend belief pattern that people think they aren’t perfect, and are in need of some kind of change. But please keep believing this persisted belief pattern, otherwise you might think that you don’t need to read my brilliant little ebook! :)

    All the Best,
    To your Happy Inspiration,
    HP

  • hmmm you can control your actions and what you pay attention too, but nothing else. Not the world around you, not the people around you, not even your feelings.

    it is by that simple fact, your actions and what you give your attention too results in the change you want for yourself. Give your attention to what you want your life to be like the kind of person you want to be, then take action to make it happen EVEN if you don’t feel like pushing foward.

    maybe in future posts you can talk about specifically running blogmastermind pty? The marketing, the accounting, taxes the real nuts and bolts. Just a thought.

  • Joy

    Yaro,

    I was just telling a friend of mind last night about my decision (a blink moment that came after much evaluation from my particular “fence”) to enroll in Blog Mastermind and Membership Mastermind several months ago and how that decision has literally changed my life.

    How?

    By encountering and continuing to overcome my personal constraints by means of your materials and articles like this one, coupled with other materials I never would have known about if it hadn’t been for your recommendations.

    These include materials from, but not limited to:
    Rick Schefren (I’m now a member of the League of Extraordinary Minds)
    Tyrone Shum (I’m a member of Mass Outsource)
    Andrew Grant/West Loh (I’m a member of Money Mindset)

    All of these materials are helping me to complete your coursework, which is why I got “on board” in the first place! Learning how to outsource is eliminating one of my BIGGEST constraints and changing my attitude about money and myself is getting rid of another BIG one.

    If there are people reading this who have not yet enrolled in any of your programs, I say to them, “Get off the fence and get in the game. The only thing you can lose is your fear and your “why I can’t do it” beliefs about yourself.”
    And what price are you willing to pay to do that!

    And no, for the FTC record, you did not ask me to write this comment!

    Always grateful to you,
    Joy

  • Excellent message Yaro!

    Really enjoyed reading and learning.

    I think this is a huge challenge for many of us today. Actually would go far as to say that it’s possible one of the main if not the main challenge our community face when trying to achieve.

    Hopefully no school teachers will take offence but I also think the school system makes us this way. It keeps us thinking in a secure pattern process rather than trying to think outside of what we already know. To look further, take risks and go for something you just feel is right.

    So what if you get it wrong? We would have never got into the sea and on the moon if we didn’t go with some hunches!

    There is, I will concede (see I am fair) that there are times when those hunches should be put to the back of the queue but not very often.

    Blink is a great book.

    Matt

  • Thanks Yaro. Excellent stuff. A couple of quibbles:
    1. No, I’m not aware of my blind spots – and neither are you: that’s why they’re called blind spots.

    I don’t think we are ‘entirely’ responsible for everything – some things are out of our control and have to do with others responsibility. If we were all 100% responsible for everything how could we ever co-operate? Also we are not conscious of some things – blind spots (see 1 above).

    But these are quibbles – I think this is excellent advice on achieving our desires.

    • Sometimes when we think we are in control, but God has a way of letting us know what is really real and what is not. It is when we surrender the control that we can begin to step up in our full power!! And that’s what I really know for sure!

  • As usual a good informational and enlightening article. I would like to get a sincere opinion from you or some experienced blogger about Driving traffic is driving traffic using Massppv a legit way to drive traffic if I have adsense in my blog and drive traffic will my account have any issues. I would really appreciate your thoughts or suggestions on this. Thanks in advance.

  • Very interesting post Yaro. When it comes to self awareness, meta-thinking and uncovering and breaking undesirable patterns, I’ve found using a life coach is the way to go.

    I’ve used life coaches a few times over the years and highly recommend them. It’s very difficult to see the wood for the trees but an objective life coach can really help you uncover and deal with beliefs and patterns of behaviour that you may not have realised existed.

  • Thanks for the post Yaro – thought-provoking and engaging. Blind spots are tough because we simply can’t see them .. until we see them :o) One thing I do from time to time is seek out one of my two very good friends with whom I have a strong and caring relationship and ask them, What is it you are able to see and I can’t that seems to be getting in my way? It requires a very special relationship to be able to have a conversation like this but richly valuable if you can do it.

    • To see into your blind spots, choose a strategy and explore what there is to learn.

      • Study your behaviors. Is anything you’re doing not working, or not working as well as it used to?
      • Study others’ reactions to you. Are you acting in a way that’s well received?
      • Notice your relationships. Do they seem positive and trusting?
      • Get feedback. Does the feedback you receive match your own self-perception?
      • Ask a few trusted colleagues for insight. What impression do they say you make? Is it the impression you hoped for?

  • Yaro,

    Excellent article. We should all take a step back and look at where we’re at and decide if it’s where we want to be. If not, take action based on a decision that we know (or hopefully know) will benefit us in a better way of life to allow us to move forward to something better.

    As always, great stuff.

    • Why is it so easy for some people to make a decision, and then take action based on that decision? While there are others that wont take action, and even if they want to make a decision, they can’t decide if they should do it now or later.

      You can use this technique, and language, on any decision that you find yourself avoiding.

      There, now don’t you feel better after having said that? Of course you do. That is the felling of belief. Go ahead, close your eyes and think about it. You feel alive, hopeful, determined, aggressive, inspired, and motivated. You are a person of action that just made a DECISION… be it a clean car or financial success.

  • Yaro, if only more people could see things like you can, I really get what you’ve written here.

    What I don’t get is what to do about the many number of people who are unable to open their eyes to their own behaviour, or they can see it but can’t seem to get out of their old patterns, it’s just too uncomfortable for them/automatic.

    Would you say that we all just have to let others find their own way or is there a method, more comprehensive than what you’ve covered here, to help people not only see how they’re not operating in their own truth but also how to help them move into new and more positive patterns? Are there books you recommend or specific courses that people can take to help really shift their old baggage?

    • Michelle, I believe the best strategy for other people is to focus on your side of the fence. Work on your perception of their behavior and let them sort out how they see the world. Some good old unconditional love sent their way is helpful too :-)

      Being the example is also powerful as you may influence them without knowing it.

      • Right Yaroo ! Color of this world is based on the color of your eyes, color of your glasses. The way you perceive the things; your understand, your thoughts and your experiences. Good and Bad people you will find everywhere in the world, in every country, in every society it is up to us, what we are looking for.

  • I’m definitely not a fence sitter but more than once have had to hold my tongue in business settings when politics becomes the subject. I’ve opened my mouth too wide in the wrong group. Some of us learn the hard way.

    I still voice my opinion loud and clear when $$$ is not involved. Does that make me a fence whore?

  • Thanks for your information. I absolutely agree the point of this post.
    Part of breaking repeated patterns is to first recognize them, but also we must establish order into our life. It’s impossible to move forward in a willy-nilly manner steeped in chaos and hope to achieve success. Obviously if our old habits aren’t working for us, then we must change them, but of course it will take discipline and commitment to adhere to a more structured regime.

  • Hey great article. I consider myself as a fence sitting honestly. This is because I always like to hear at least two points of view before coming to a conclusion. I agree this can be quite time consuming and maybe depending on the situation one must take a decision and stick with it.

  • One need not necessarily take a position on everything under the sun. Fence sitting is not such a bad thing when you can have one AND the other instead of either or. One must have the analytical ability to see the advantage of either course and decide. Being flexible is also an important aspect of successful living.

  • I enjoyed your Post Yaro. It’s a subjected I’m fascinated with and quite passionate about myself. I’ve coined my blog Human SEO for Self Exploration Optimization because one of the biggest keys I’ve found is this, “it’s not what we’re willing to learn in order to make change and step into the life I truly desire, but what we’re willing to let go of so that once we do we can fully live in our truth.” The here, the now.

    The funny thing is I’ve found I need to embrace first that which I don’t desire. I had to become one with it. Why? Because what we resist persists. Sure I had to “challenge my current beliefs” but that wasn’t the tide that turned. It sounds counter intuitive but has been necessary for my journey. As I’ve studied and experienced Shadow Work (Via Debbie Ford & my life coach) It’s this shedding light on the dark parts of our lives and bringing it into the light that then allows us to accept it and not allow it any more of our energy. Embrace it and remove the “social masks.”

    It’s at this point I’ve experienced the ability to not only challenge my beliefs but let them go or “poor out the glass” so to speak so I can fill it up once more. Only to stay aware and be ready to poor it out again. (My zen philosophies showing)

    So much of our energy (Mental as well as physical) is tied up in the past (Regret) and in the future (Worry) but rarely have I lived “in the moment” up until this moment in my life. I was fortunate enough to see Wayne Dyer speak a few weeks ago on the subject of our self concept and he said something quite simple that made me reflect. He said, “Our self concept is everything we have believed about ourselves & our experiences up until this point and time in our lives.”

    I for one feel less is more and this certainly doesn’t fit our western cultures philosophies. Are there blind spots? Yup. Is there work involved in order to become aware of them? Yup. Is it worth it?

    Absolutely.

    Thanks for the great insights and work.

  • Great food for thought, Yaro! While it’s true that the most expensive thing a person can own is closed mind, the biggest problem I see with my mentoring students at first is how many are caught up in ‘analysis paralysis’ – they’re always waiting to do a bit more research, find a bit more information or for that next (magic?) product release.

    Meta-thinking and self-analysis to identify and alter patterns are great, if one already has a master’s knowledge of the subject and themselves. I have always found it easier to adopt new patterns as opposed to altering existing ones – while they achieve the same goal, creating a new to-do list that needs to be performed daily implants our desired new patterns fairly quickly.

    Since most people’s self-image and self-analysis is emotionally colored, perhaps they’d be better to question those around them they feel know them best and will be the most honest…

    Overall, it seems the best course of action is to TAKE action, based on the information and knowledge you have at the time, and to always be trying to add to your knowledge base along the way so that your blink moments lead to decisions based on an ever-evolving body of knowledge and experience. (The Aristotlean theory that the best education is the most well-rounded education)

    But above all, immediate intelligent action is the goal to pursue!

    • Above all — don’t beat yourself up if you don’t meet all the above criteria. It takes planning and work to become an accomplished professional. Just because you haven’t thought about you the person before doesn’t mean that you can’t start now. Remember you can repackage yourself at any time to suit your personal needs and objectives.

  • Great in dept article that really gets a person thinking. – I especially agree with being intuitive yet grounded in a goal oriented way. Awarness IS huge thanks yaro.

  • Regarding being a “fence sitter”, I think many people are exactly the same. I know that for a lot of topics I never fully agree 100% because I feel that other people have equally good points so I may be 80% and 20% about something as well.

  • Being open minded about other people and new things is a sure way to build confidence as people are flattered when you display interest in who they are or what they do. It is a known fact that people’s favourite subject is themselves and if you show genuine interest about people, they will tend to like you and this will build your self-confidence even more.

  • Yaro! Just to think I let this sit in my inbox for two days! Jeez, what a great article! I take what you wrote here to heart and into my life. This article has is a great reflection for me at this point of my “meta-game”.

    Thank You,

    Azstrel

  • After reading this Articel and all of the comments i can really say: Again a very great Post. Thanks for sharing.

  • Some of what you wrote sounds a lot like neuro-linguistic programming. “The map is not the terrain.” We can choose to shift the way we think about certain things.

  • Hello Yaro,

    A lot of great comments here on this subject.
    I have been Stuck on the same ideas that I
    thought of in 1988 , and can’t seem to let them
    go..I have a Post on my Blog that explains it
    all..The Post is second one down on my Home
    page and is called “When A Dream Becomes
    Reality,Grab The Dream”

    I have been trying to apply a new Niche to
    Pyradom , but still have trouble with sticking
    to it..Change for me is like being a Baseball
    Player all my life , then becoming an Airline
    Pilot or a Cruise Ship Captain..

    Great Post As Always Yaro,
    One Of Your Followers,
    G.A.P.

  • Great tip! Since I read the 4 hour work week I have been checking my emails twice a day only and it has been working just fine for me.
    In my opinion, when working online you must create a set of rules and follow them to get things done.

  • Man, nice post Yaro – that really hits the nail on the head. Blind spots really can hinder your success and you Behavior patterns if not curbed for your success can really take you off the tracks.

    Took away some great lessons from this post and it really overlaps for what i’ve actually started implementing in my own life. Doesn’t matter what type of business you own or life you live, you need to work on your own personal development before you can help change others lives.

    Dwight Anthony
    Financially Elite Blog

  • Very insightful article Yaro !

    I think everyone can relate at one point or another. Either way, we are ultimately responsible for our own progress. We can’t let anything hold us back, not even our own preconceived beliefs, no matter how comfortable they may be.

    Great post as always,

  • Yaro, very thought-provoking post. It just goes to cement in the notion that we all need to really re-think the way we look at our markets. You can have totally the wrong picture of a customer, or the wrong picture of yourself and completely sell yourself in the wrong direction. That gut check can be the great compass that we all will use to make some amazing turn in our lives.

  • This post is destijned to be one of your all-time favourites, Yaro. Ever since we’ve been born we’ve been subjected to conditioning and programming from school, society, church, parents, etc.

    Becoming aware of this conditioning, and the blinkers it imposes on our life view, is the first step towards eventually overcoming this programming, and being truly free. As the old saying goes – And the truth shall set you free.

  • Very insightful article Yaro !

    I think everyone can relate at one point or another. Either way, we are ultimately responsible for our own progress. We can’t let anything hold us back, not even our own preconceived beliefs, no matter how comfortable they may be.

    Great post as always,

  • Great article, and interesting commentary. Having the attention span of a gnat can be just as destructive as analysis paralysis. It’s a disease a lot of newbies suffer from, particularly.

  • Great examples and well written.

    I think it’s a big shift going from “being right” to “knowing what’s right” and from seeing through your own eyes to seeing through the collective eyes. de Bono teaches some simple techniques for improving this ability (He’s a great lens crafter.)

    I always like how Ken Blanchard said, “None of us is as smart as all of us.”

    • I really like that quote. It highlights the power that comes from working together with other people. You can achieve much greater success when you are working with other talented people. When you are doing things all on your own, you only have 1 perspective and one person’s ideas.

  • SEO

    Thank you for great insight…

  • I love coming to your site, Yaro. Especially when you wax philosophical! Beliefs and blind spots are really up for me this year, so thank you a thousand times over for your insights.

    I love what PJ commented about not needing to make THOUSands per month, but what about HUNdreds! My partner and I make a really decent living online, not an over-the-top income, but a middle class one here in the US. We’re proud of what we do, we work hard and LOVE our clients and friends.

    We were talking the other day about how it seems to be hard to amass wealth through work that has integrity, beauty and authenticity. However, we see examples all around of companies who lack integrity, overlook beauty, and say the heck with authenticity, yet they pull in obscene amounts of money.

    Thanks for your potent reminder to me that I need to examine that perspective. Change really does begin in our own homes and our own small enterprises.

    Love, cheers, and thanks to you all for such thoughtful comments,
    Suzanne

  • I think as a business and a person we need to sometimes bend on our views and accept other ideas simply to grow as a business or even a person.

  • a lot of businesses now favour young blood for new ideas.. some guys i used to work for were in their 50′s and 60′s and had lots of new inventive ways of making more business. guess it depends on the person. you are either good at business or not.

  • My father used to say ‘only the sky is the limit’. I changed it a bit and say ‘the limit is only in our minds’. What I mean by this is that we need to adapt, change and see other people’s views as well when we want to achieve success in new businesses.

  • I know what you mean by “the “ah-ha” moment, when you come to an awareness”. I often feel extremely happy at this point:)

  • This is a really good post – Pattern Interpreteur. I’m going to re-read it

  • I know what you mean by “the “ah-ha” moment, when you come to an awareness”. I often feel extremely happy at this point:)

  • As always Yaro, a well thought through and challenging post. Great article, and interesting commentary.

    Thanks for the encouragement!

  • Yes, I’ve struggle more with the sticking to things part than the switching things part. I like what you said though, Antti, about changing things that will lead to progress. Change is really pointless on it’s own. Change should always be for a reason.

  • Great post. I am trying to think like this more and more…and it is hard. It’s harnessing that gut instinct, which is really hard to do initially.

    I also see a lot of patterns within myself now, some patterns I can see so clearly and know what to do or break, others are a lot harder to understand.

    But I think it’s a lot of fun trying to master our own universe;)

  • A very thought provoking post Yaro.
    This post really helped to open my eyes, and identify some of my behaviours that I would like to work on, and slowly change.

    Best Regards,
    Neil Uttamsingh

  • Another insightful post.

    Even though your post “What Is The 80/20 Rule And Why It Will Change Your Life” is over 3 years old, it is something that I have referred back to multiple times since coming across it. Keep up the good work Yaro!

  • A very thought provoking post Yaro.

  • This post made me thinking- thinking again. Everyone thought about before….

  • i ve just googled your blog and this article made me numb :)
    after reading this i think i’ll change the way i’m thinking.

  • Hey Great tips!
    I have been checking my emails every hour and it has been working just fine for me.
    In my opinion, when working online you must create a set of rules and follow them to get things don quickly and properly.

  • Some great NLP insights in there Yaro :)

    For me it’s a case of moving from ‘knowing what to do’ to ‘doing what i know’.

  • Yarro,

    I have been following you for 6 months now..
    I haven’t gained 1 foot as far as MONEY
    go’s…I am Blogging & I am give in good
    Stuff for Free…What’s up Bro.

    G.A.P.

  • Im a very good observer of things around me but not so much of myself. This might be my biggest blindspot. Maybe this is whats keeping me from improving.

  • I’m just observing myself now and I think I’ll be either totally insane in about 3 years or I’ll go on a world tour in the next couple of years :-)

  • You made some very valid comments in this post. It reminds me of one summer when I was working at a summer camp that had a lot of foreigners as counselors, cooks, and maintenance. I was asking the Russian girls who worked in the kitchen if they wanted to go anywhere on their day off and I would gladly drive them, for none of them could drive. They wanted to go to the outlet malls and I was game! A little while later I had a couple American counselors come up to me and ask why I was going to hang out with them on my day off. My reply was…..You guys are not very nice to these girls and they hook us up everyday get paid more and have more free time, but get treated like shit by them. I thought I would try and make their stay better and help them to learn the language a little better as well. We ended up having a great time and I ended up taking them out when ever our days off coincided. The other kids who gave them a hard time thought they were open minded, but did they ever once think about how much trouble they had to go threw to even get to come and work in the states, only to have a bunch of American punks treat them like dirt. No wonder we as Americans have such a bad rap. Sorry for the rant.

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