Don’t Let Your Ignorance Stop You

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This is the fourth article in a series on Positive Change. My goal with this series is to give you the tools necessary to manifest positive change in your reality, or simply put, to get what you want and eliminate what you don’t want in your life.

Before you read this article, make sure you read the first three in the series in this order –

  1. Is It Really Possible To Create The Change You Want In Your Life?
  2. What I Can Teach You About Getting What You Want
  3. Why Creating The Change You Want Is All About You

I re-read the first three articles in the series before beginning this fourth chapter, which led me to a realization that I was potentially missing out one of the most important points. Based on observation of people who struggle in life, this sticking point is something critical to eliminate early on, otherwise you’re going to hit a brick wall every time you look to make changes.

My intention is to complete this series with an insight that is literally the key to not only having whatever you want in your life, but also making the entire planet a better place, but before I do that, we need to get one roadblock out of the way. Let’s do that now…

We’ve laid a framework that can lead you to realizing positive changes in your life, which is based on the following five core principles -

  1. Those who truly excel in life do so by repeating processes over and over again, resulting in a compounding effect that can eventually take you to amazing places. A “success ladder” is available to achieve almost anything in life, so if you’re prepared to go through steps and repeat something often enough to get good at it, you can have or be almost anything you want.
  2. Your awareness – how you interpret everything around you – is what governs your ability to get things done. How you see the world impacts how you think about the world, which impacts how you feel, and thus how you interact with the world. Your interpretation can help you or hinder you, and this is regardless of what is true – the choice is entirely up to you. You decide your truth, so choose to see the world in a way that is beneficial for making the changes you want in your life.
  3. Some things are out of your control and you’re not always going to get what you expect. You must master the art of continuous improvement, regardless of conditions. You’re human, so you’re going to feel emotions that have the potential to derail your progress, but only if you let them. It’s necessary to keep taking steps towards change, even when you don’t feel like it.
  4. There’s always a smart choice you can make, given a set of conditions, but unfortunately most people do what other people do, which often is NOT the smart choice. Don’t let social conditioning, peer pressure or accepted practice govern your choices, instead, assess what you personally have to work with, and make the best decisions from where you are coming from and where you want to go.
  5. Follow the success patterns of other people – the smart decisions other people made who presently have what you are now seeking are there to be modeled any time you want. Don’t follow anything blindly, but don’t go in blind either. There is so much information available to learn almost anything, so use these resources to help you discern the smart choices for you.

Beware Your Own Ignorance

These five principles can take you far, but there’s an insidious force that has a nasty habit of derailing people before they adopt and practice these ideas, which I label “Ignorance“.

Ignorance can come in many shapes and forms and is pervasive in our current society. Almost everyone “suffers” from it in some way.

The problem with ignorance is that it creates a rigid belief structure that stops certain ideas even having a chance. If you’re stubborn, and you believe certain things must be a certain way, or you’ve learned a certain way of looking at the world that you refuse to change, then you’ve locked yourself into a box.

Some people, even if their own framework is flexible, suffer from the ignorance of people around them, which can include your immediate family and friends, or more wide reaching social structures, political and religious systems and cultural norms. These structures impact you if you choose to partake in them (you could always become a hermit and live in a cave).

You have a choice in how you interpret everything, so even if you are forced to adhere to a rule or system you don’t think is right, you can choose how you respond to it. This is why people locked into a life sentence in jail can still find happiness, yet those who have abundant freedom can still find a way to be miserable.

I’m sure you know what it is like when you’re talking to a friend in a bad relationship, or a job that’s not right for them, or they have a habit they refuse to quit like smoking, yet no matter how hard you try and make them realize what they are doing is not beneficial, it just doesn’t get through. This is frustrating because of course you want what is best for the people around you, but ultimately you can’t make decisions for other people.

The problem becomes especially pronounced when you don’t share a basic framework, ideology or world view that is compatible with the person you are communicating with. If you’re talking about something that is blue, but your friend is wearing red-tinted glasses, you have no possibility of “making” them see what you can see. They need to take off the glasses first – or try putting on another pair of glasses – which is something they have to decide to do for themselves.

It’s not your responsibility to change anyone, however you do have control over your own reality, and becoming aware of your ignorance is the first step to eliminate it. Some form of rigid thought process or belief system is holding you back right now, and you’re not even aware of it. This impacts how you make decisions and what actions you take, so until you deal with your own ignorance, you’re going to struggle to change.

Take Off Your Glasses

The first step you can take immediately is to start watching to see if you are wearing any “glasses” that are stopping you from making change.

Being open minded is great, but what I’m talking about here goes much deeper than that. You might consider yourself open minded already, but if you monitor your own reactions to what other people say, or what happens around you, you will see that even you have knee-jerk responses to situations, or behavior patterns that are entrenched in your lifestyle and impact your choices in ways you don’t currently see.

We’re all a product of our upbringing, cultural story, personality type and previous experiences. We interpret the world through our own lens that is constructed of all these things.

  • If you believe that only bad people get rich, that will stop you from ever becoming rich yourself because you believe you have to be dishonest to get there.
  • If you believe that people should treat you a certain way then you get upset when they don’t and immediately write them off as not worth knowing.
  • If a good life is marriage, children and owning your home, but you’re single, broke and childless on your 35th birthday, then you must be a failure.

There are countless expectations like this that impact how we think and act in life, some of which we can see, some that we blindly follow every day without realizing.

Most people I know, myself included, make initial impression judgments based on things like how a person looks and what clothes they wear. Even though I’m open minded, I can’t help but make a judgment on some level, that’s what humans who are driven by egos do.

The key is to realize you are making judgments constantly, become aware of that, then drop them if they are hindering your progress or causing you to suffer. It takes work because you’re trying to unlearn patterns of behavior and thoughts you’ve likely continued for years, possibly your entire adult life.

Be careful not to fool yourself either. It’s easy to say something to the people around you based on what everyone expects because of social standards. No one expects you to be racist, so saying you’re not is expected behavior, but if the conversation in your head is actually racist, then you’re just lying to yourself.

This doesn’t have to be about something as severe as racism either. If you watch your thoughts you might be surprised at how often you tell yourself things you don’t really want to believe simply because of habit or conditioning. Changing what’s going on outside starts with reconstructing what’s going on inside you.

There Is No Such Thing As Truth

At this point in our discussion it’s important that I introduce an idea that might take you a little while to fully come to terms with. You might think you “get” this – I did at first – but then realized I really didn’t fully understand the implications of this concept.

It is something I have struggled to fully integrate into my life, but once you do, it can dramatically change how you perceive the world and all the people in it. Let’s take a look at this concept now, and in the next article in this series we will dig a little deeper. Here we go…

Truth, is only truth in your mind.

No one else on this planet shares what you consider true because no one else can be in your body at the same time as you, at least from the perspective of the individual (we will look at universal “oneness” later).

What you determine is true is based on what your senses interpret. The data from your body is sent to your mind, which determines how you perceive something. From there you use language to label what you have perceived, to make it possible to communicate with other people and categorize what is around you.

A red apple is a color that collectively we have agreed is red, however it’s only true because we’ve learned what the red label represents. Although I know what red looks like to me, I can never really know what red looks like to you. It’s safe to assume that most of us see it in a very similar way since we use our eyes – and we all have eyes that are constructed in a similar manner – but we can never be 100% certain what another person sees, it is impossible without becoming part of their consciousness.

Given the limitations of physical existence and our system of labels for language, it’s absolutely critical that you never attach yourself to an interpretation of truth. If you become attached to it, then you will start to emotionally identify it as your point of view and feel a need to impose it on other people, or defend it when others disagree. If your desire to make the world be something is so strong that you find yourself suffering as a result, you need to let go.

The awareness of just letting things go and pass through you, can be a wonderfully liberating realization. When you decide that what other people think about you, or how they see the world, or what they do, is not your responsibility, you enjoy an immense sense of relief. Deciding that it’s not your job to control the universe, but to flow with it, will make your life significantly easier.

Your only responsibility is to determine what you consider the truth – your truth – and act on that in each and every moment. If your truth is dynamic – not rigid – and you understand you are simply choosing to see things in a way that creates power in your life in that moment, then you’re doing the best you can.

Challenge Your Reality

Once you start monitoring and adjusting your own interpretation and you start to dissolve your judgments, something interesting will start to occur. You will get curious.

The great thing about opening your eyes to other colors is that suddenly the world doesn’t seem nearly as black and white as it used to. The more structures you have in your life, the more liberated you will feel as you break them down.

With this new sense of freedom you will desire more stimulus. Everything in the world will become more interesting because you won’t be focused so much on trying to make everything and everyone around you fit into “boxes”. The boxes of course, don’t exist, they are just mental constructs you’ve created to help you feel safe. When you drop the need to “feel safe”, let your ego go, the world and the people in it, don’t seem nearly as scary.

You will still have problems of course, but given your focus will be less on conformity and more about experience, you will gain an ability to solve problems with much less friction – in fact it will become a lot of fun.

  • Instead of being so depressed because you can’t find a boyfriend or girlfriend, you will relish the challenge of meeting new people and breaking down your previous belief structures about your romantic life and what it means to be single.
  • Instead of struggling with how hard it is to make money, you will look for more powerful ways to earn a living. Your eyes and mind will be open to doing things like starting a business and quitting the “secure” job you’ve previously stuck to because that’s just what everyone does and it feels safer.
  • You will reassess what exactly it means to “be rich”. Money will have a completely new meaning to you.
  • Instead of suffering the behavior of certain people in your life you will realize that you simply don’t need them and it’s okay to not be friends with everyone.

The fear of being lonely or “losing someone” will never impact who you decide to associate with. You will naturally gravitate to and draw in people when you need them. People who don’t empower your life will drop away. You will make the decision to not participate in the “drama” of interpersonal relationships, which so many people in the world today are addicted to.

Once you let go and expand your universe, suddenly the vastness and potential – including all the amazing people you could surround yourself with – will inspire you to make new friends and build a social structure that reinforces the changes you want to make in your life.

In short, you will stop acting in fear because of your narrow viewpoint and start acting with a sense of wonder and possibility because you can see the world is much more dynamic than it used to be. Instead of being trapped into a box, you will see that the world is too large for you to ever understand completely, so will seek to challenge your reality without being encumbered by what other people think or standards of behavior you used to adhere to.

Can Your Problems Magically Change Overnight?

One area where people suffer from ignorance is how you create problems when they don’t really exist. Or, using our new understanding of what is truth, you might choose to see a situation as a problem, where alternative interpretations could see the situation as an opportunity.

No matter how bad a situation is, you always have the choice to see it as something beneficial.

If we take what most people on this planet would consider a pretty bad situation – you’re stricken down with a disease that is going to kill you – even this can be interpreted as something positive. You’re going to die, that means you’re going to find out what it means to be no longer in your body and find out what happens next. This, for a curious person, could be the most exciting adventure ever experienced in life.

Here’s something you have to accept – death is an experience you’re going to go through, so you can suffer this fact, or frame it as something you face with courage, curiosity and a sense of fluidity – you will surrender to it, rather than fight it. The choice is up to you.

If we look at less finite “problems” in life, things like not having enough money, or not having a romantic partner, or wanting to lose weight, or move to a better city, or find a new social circle, or stop feeling depressed, or to quit smoking, or start waking up earlier, or buy a car, or stop being afraid to fly in airplanes, or fall pregnant, or leave your marriage, or become famous, or pretty much any change whatsoever you want to make in your life, the same rules apply.

Every situation above can be looked at as something you are “suffering” from, with the frame of what you stand to lose or what you will never have. Or these things can be completely re-framed as opportunities for new experiences, or as a challenge to find an alternative solution, or even as a point of self-reflection to figure out exactly why you want something so much, or why you fear losing something so much, etc.

Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, is in constant flux and the only reason you choose to feel or do something in any given moment is because you choose to, nothing is making you do it. The situation you are in is not the reason you feel as you do, it’s merely a set of circumstances you are choosing to react to in a certain way. If you can’t see a good way to interpret something and a “way out”, then you’re simply addicted to being a certain way – you’re too ignorant of your own behavior and mindset to change. It’s entirely your fault.

Ouch.

That could hurt a little, but I hope you see it as more liberating than painful.

Accepting Change

When I face problems in my life I have benefited from reminding myself of one of life’s constants -

Change is permanent.

I love the dichotomy in that statement. I could have said that change is constant, which is is, but there’s something compelling when you realize the only thing that will never change is change itself.

The practical implication of this understanding further enhances the importance of how you interpret every single moment and thought in your life. Everything is going to change, the situation that you are suffering from right now will not last forever.

Death ensures this. You won’t be lonely forever because you’re going to die. You won’t be married forever because you’re going to die. You won’t be sick forever because you’re going to die. You won’t be young, beautiful, rich, poor, hungry, full, tired, bored, frustrated, angry, bitter, happy, sad, relaxed, excited, joyful, retired, employed, or anything forever, because you are going to die.

Yah, morbid I know. This realization could be about as depressing as it gets, but again – that’s a choice you’re most welcome to make if you like.

I recommend instead that you see death as the greatest reason to always interpret life in a powerful and positive manner, unless of course, you enjoy suffering.

Any problem you have right now doesn’t exist and will disappear, I promise you this with a 100% guarantee. It will change – and to relax a little after all that talk of death, many of the changes you want in life will occur while you are alive. You don’t have to die to rid yourself of your problems, you can do it right now.

Practical Problem Solving

Problem solving begins with first understanding what your problem is really about. I hope, by reading this article to this point, you understand that your problems aren’t really as severe as they are, or really aren’t problems at all.

If you have previously focused energy on what you don’t have and don’t like, it’s time to change that to focusing on what you are doing to make the change you want happen.

You now have the power to never again suffer from your own ignorance. Open your mind to possibility and opportunity and get excited about all the positive changes you could experience in your life in the very near future.

With this new found mindset, the next step is to take the appropriate actions that lead to your desired goals. To make this as practical as possible, here’s a process that can lead you to any change you want to make happen in your life. Remember to apply everything you learned in this article, and the previous in this series, as you go about creating positive change in your life.

  1. Start “looking for doors” that will lead you to your goal
  2. Once you find the doors, open them
  3. Evaluate what you find inside and decide which path to follow further
  4. Once you follow a path, focus on dynamic refinement of the process until you achieve your desired outcome (remember that everything can change, including your desired outcome).
  5. Accept that you can’t know everything or be everything within the confines of your physical body and mind, so narrow your focus to objective problem solving based on what’s in front of you

While you go through this process, keep in mind your view of the world, including your insights and your ignorances, are helping and hindering your progress. The more you increase your awareness and decrease your ignorance, the easier your life will be and the less friction you will face as you make change.

Coming Up Next – Understanding Your Power As A Change Catalyst

In the next and final chapter in my series on positive change, I’m going to tie in everything you’ve learned so far and leave you with I believe is the single most important insight you can gain from this series.

While everything I’ve talked about so far has been about you helping yourself, you obviously don’t exist in isolation. There is an entire universe that is influencing you, but perhaps more importantly, you are influencing it.

You’re going to see that it’s not just for your own benefit that you need to adopt these positive change principles. It goes much deeper than that.

I’ll give you the final piece of the puzzle very soon…

Update: Part 5 is now available: How I Realized My Sense Of Self and Why It Changed My Life Forever

Yaro Starak
Dissecting Truth

About Yaro Starak

Yaro Starak is the author of the Blog Profits Blueprint, a report you can download instantly to learn how to make $10,000 a month, from only blogging 2 hours per day. You can find Yaro on Facebook, Twitter and .

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132 Comments

  • I love the concept on constantly challenging your reality. We should always be pushing the boundaries of what we think that we can achieve!

  • Ami

    Yaro – I agree, I love this line: change is permanent!

    I’ve made some major mentality changes that brought me to blogging and make a big difference in my life. Like foe example “repeating processes” which has always been my weak point and I now rule repeating processes.

    I also love the Samuel Beckett line:

    “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.”

    Simple, precise and it makes life so much easier!

    Thanks for the article

    Ami
    Bee a Blogger | REAL-TIME Blogging Report

  • Yaro, this article is absolutely great. I can relate to most of the points you wrote about and it makes me feel good :-) A great eye opener article!

  • Great post, well worth the read. Change is permanent!

  • I think it’s important for everyone, especially entrepreneurs evaluate their beliefs think outside of the box in terms of what we’ve been conditioned to. I love this concept Yaro because it does remind us all that were ignorant to something and it challenges us to look at the world through a “different pair of glasses” as you said it best. Thanks for being Transparent Yaro and not keeping this life changing information to yourself. You are helping so many people!

  • Thanks, Yaro, for giving people the tools to live their best lives. Oftentimes, we are not even aware of our limiting thoughts and beliefs. Self-awareness is so important because it enables us to be an objective viewer of our thoughts and consciously change them. This process gives us the opportunity to see and experience a different “reality.”

    It is a labor intensive process. We have to constantly be on guard! As we continue to engage in our environment, we find thought patterns that need to be challenged.

    There is a saying, Change your perception, create a new reality! Our reward is the life we CHOOSE to live!

  • Good tips on personal development. Most if not all of the principles you described were introduced by the Buddha 2,500 years ago.

  • “No matter how bad a situation is, you always have the choice to see it as something beneficial.” I particularly like this line as this frame of mind allows you to be in control of all things in your life and that feeling of control is so important to achieving success.

  • Read the articles and it is very motivational. Persistence is key! You mentioned a lot of great points that can really help a person change their views.

  • I believe the toughest thing about all this is to be rational. Emotinal thinking (“ignorance”) is part of human nature. Can it ever be completely eliminated?

  • One thing that I love that you repeated over and over is the fact that you can chose your reality. You can choose what you see, how you see it, and you can choose to change what you see.

    It’s all up to you to make the decision to start creating your reality and make a life worth living. The funny part is I just wrote an article about all of this. ; )

    Wavelength!

  • Joe

    What happened to your feed reader?

  • Hi Yaro, My life is a good example that everything you say in this post is true and possible. Starting in 2007 I begin studying The Sedona Method. I had started meditating in 1994 when I lived in Hawai’i. I begin to realize I need to make major changes in my life and with the teachings of Hale Dwoskin and Bill Harris from The Secret, I was able to leave my job as a paralegal, leave my marriage, and leave California. I moved to Morocco and everyday I am so grateful because my life is very happy and I am full of serenity. It wasn’t always easy making these decisions, but I stuck with it because I knew I was on the right path. There are still members of my family who don’t speak to me, but I just let it go. Everything you’ve written about is possible.

  • Coz

    Im constantly having to re-evaluate my life to stop myself falling into ignorant non-open-minded attitudes. Its a challenge

    • Wow! What a powerful statement. Continually re-evaluating is one of the most amazing things you can do – and it isn’t because of the results you achieve. It is the very process of being connected to your experience of life in every moment. That’s where the gold is.

      Don’t get discouraged. The next step is to give that same kind of attention and intention to creating what you would love to experience in life. Just for an hour or two, lift your head up out of responding to challenges and dare to explore and capture your true needs and desires. Then, give just a few minutes every day to feeling into the joy and delight you will feel once you have fulfilled those needs and desires.

      Don’t worry about the how of it. Just give your attention on a regular basis, every day – just for a few minutes. You will find that after a few days, you will begin to get new ideas about actions you might take to support your dreams. It is so easy to keep blinders on and stay stuck, so remember that by applying that same kind of dogged attention and intention, you can create whatever you desire. You go Coz.

  • Jon

    Hi Yaro, good article, but I do have one thing I’d like to point out.

    Change is permanent.

    Actually, change is as permanent as you want to make it. I’m sure you have friends who are always instituting some level of change to achieve their goals but at the end of the day, the habits that they developed over a lifetime come back. They end-up exactly where they left off! The best example of this that I can think of are “weight loss clinics” who thrive by having repeat customers time after time.

    I’d say FUNDAMENTAL change is permanent, only if you wish to make it so.

    Regarding ignorance, you wrote about this very well… I agree with your statements… the fact that much of it exists at a subconscious level that we are not even aware of makes it all the tougher to slay from our lives. A great way to deal with this issue is to change your environment and lifestyle every once in a while, this is when new realities come into play and past beliefs can be easily questioned.

    Good article and great series!

    Jon @ WoodMarvels.com

  • thanks a million for the post. #2- awareness just jumped out at me! Im going through something at the moment and this is just so true. Stand guard i say) ta, Matt

  • I agree ignorance is not bliss and success is often massive action + applied know-how.

    The beauty is that success leaves clues and we can always reverse-engineer success if we ask the right questions and the right people.

    Beautiful job laying out and framing out the proven practices for positive change.

  • Great article! Yes, the concept of change! I realized recently that there are 2 kinds of change. Firstly, there’s “basic change” – this is where you change the details of your life in some way; such as changing jobs, your hair, buying a new car, changing partners, etc… acts of will.
    Then there’s “fundamental change” or evolution – this is where you move forward and go beyond the situation that you mightonce have spent a lot of time and energy thinking to change.
    Basic change is okay. But often it is just a swapping of the details. Things seem new but really the new thing, object or situation in your life is based upon the same mindset. And so, fundamentally there has been no real change or improvement of life. Evolutionary change is where one examines the basic motive for change… and addresses any masking or fooling-of-oneself that may be going on. This second type of change is not driven by superficial desire… but a core desire to improve oneself… and it is this ‘deep digging’ mind that lifts us beyond our trials… and much of the need to ‘make’ changes happen.
    Thanks again,
    Brendan
    P.s. Thanks for mentioning death in your article – I find it odd how we fear something that is part of our innate design. It’s kind of like being afraid of your hair or something…

  • Loved this part:

    “The awareness of just letting things go and pass through you, can be a wonderfully liberating realization. When you decide that what other people think about you, or how they see the world, or what they do, is not your responsibility, you enjoy an immense sense of relief. Deciding that it’s not your job to control the universe, but to flow with it, will make your life significantly easier.”

    The idea that it’s “NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY” has been the most powerful and life changing realization I’ve had in recently. You don’t have to take ownership of other people’s perceptions, and frankly you have NO CONTROL, so why bother worrying about it.

  • What a breath of fresh air to find someone not just talking about the whys and wherefores of an internet business but of the mindset needed to actually succeed at anything you do and all that you are. (I mean succeed in the sense of getting to and being the best we can be.)

    It’s also important to note that, just like the business we’re running, we need to constantly review and change what’s not working for us.

    Great article!

    • I agree Maddy, for me, the knowledge I have about running my online business is a part of being successful, but just as important to me, if not more so, is my mindset I have and how I deal with the challenges I face with my business.

      I think the way we think about and perceive things and face challenges is often an overlooked part of running a successful business no matter what field we are in.

      Thankyou Yaro, I still have much to learn but your Positive change series has been a great help because I think your writing is very simple and clear to understand.

      Richie.

  • Well put Yaro. Awareness of ignorance can lead you to take such steps as necessary to correct and move on.

  • Thank you, Yaro. How much time and thought you must be putting into these articles even as you enjoy letting them flow through you! It’s amazing to read your explanation and interpretation of the timeless Vedic concept of ‘Tat Tvam Asi’
    (That Thou Art) in practical, everyday terms.
    Thanks for this series.

  • Great article. Lots of insight. I really liked learning about your thoughts on ignorance. That is such a big problem with entrepreneurs. Thanks for sharing. I know spreading this will help individuals overcome that.

  • Well spoken. Ignorance and an all-knowing attitude has stopped many people in their tracks.

    Till then,

    Jean

  • I have had a similar revelation lately, I just keep telling myself “the only one you can change in this life is you” which should have been a given but has taken me 24 years to get. THis post was rad, thank you for all the wonderful content.

  • I think you’ve completely hit the nail on the head with this series. How you live your life, what you bring into it and respond to situations is completely your own choice.

    Your perspective on the definition of truth was a concept we explored at uni as journalism students – every person at a sports stadium will have a different perspective on the game they have all watched and each person’s reality is valid for them – therefore there are very few facts in life and truth is an individual experience. I spent months exploring this concept and it’s great to see someone else is too.

    I’d thought I had a very positive attitude until a family experience that left me reeling. In the washup of it I decided to implement something in my daily life that had me focusing on the positive, on inspiration and empowerment and then sharing this – what you put out into the world matters. So I started a women’s magazine dedicated to inspiration, sharing, empowerment and joy. This lets me have it as a focus in my life and is making a real difference.

    So my tip to anyone else interested in making it a daily practice is to write about it – practice what you want in your life constantly to let it happen every day.

    All the best with this series, I love it and wish all good things for you.

    Kind regards,
    Belinda

  • Hi Yaro

    I have been following you for sometimes.

    I recently read one of your posts – don’t be an insular blogger. This has left me a bit confused.

    I have recently started blogging on an obscure niche with no other blogger writing on even remotely connected topics..

    The monthly global search volume for the topic is around 25K with marginal to high competition from other static content websites (no bloggers around the space)

    So i guess i will not be referring to any other blogger till another one actually comes up.
    Does this amount to insular blogging… ?

    Pls…pls.. pls.. reply…

  • I started blogging as hobby and stumbled upon a business. I can say if you change your mind frame anything is possible. Not always easy, but certainly possible.

  • Very interesting and thought provoking. Another great post Yaro!

  • Nice post Yaro. I was a little worried at first that it would be a bit “self-helpish”. But you pulled through with some great advice. :)

  • We all have degrees of ignorance, and not allowing yourself to think outside the box is one of them. “Challange your reality”…great concept.

  • Nice article and great words, very inspiring..perhaps it could lead me to the way of success..:)

  • We all have degrees of ignorance, and not allowing yourself to think outside the box is one of them. “Challange your reality”…great concept.

  • Hi Yaro,
    Great post. Not sure I agree with the distinction about change being permanent rather than constant. I prefer the latter as I believe that we and all things around us are subject to change and nothing is permanent.

    I like the ideas of success patterns of other people. Can you tell me what success patterns and from who you follow, have adopted, learnt from?

    Adrian

  • Totally agree with you, you have explained gracefully what’s inside me that I tried to convey to others. I think this is the one best article in this series.

    However, I think it is important as well to treat this process as a seeing thing from the positive perspective (positive thinking) alone. Trying to justify a failure or an accident as positive might occur to some people as lying to oneself.

    I like to see it in this way;

    Life work in balance. If there are an excess of something, something will happened naturally to reduce that excess. Imagine rivers and rain waters.

    So, when something happened, something must have caused it. We don’t have to be sad it happened, because we know why it happened. In the future if it happened again, it is our fault or responsibility because we know why it happened and we can pretty much avoid it. :)

    Good luck!

    Sabri

  • Nice article Yaro,

    I agree that change is constant and the idea there is stasis is a myth. Don’t mean to sound pretentious but wasn’t it the Greek Philosopher Heraclitus that taught us that we never step into the same river twice. In other words, life is constantly changing and always new. And in so far as we engage with life we too change constantly. I like the use of both ‘permanent’ and ‘constant’ change,

    Change is constant but it’s like this is a permanent state of affairs. In other words, change is constant and this will always be the case.

    I’d planned to post something on something similar to this for start-up businesses which is my area. Your article has helped me see some things in new ways, which is great. Great post – Well done!.

    Michael Anderson

  • Yaro, I truly enjoyed this article. It really challenged me to be better. You know what, what really touched me was, “There is no such thing as truth.” That was definitely difficult to swallow in the past. This article is confirmation. I’ve heard this before but was brought up to believe that there is absolute truth. Now I realize that truth can be relative when it seems absolute. I’ve had this argument with a Christian friend of mine who claimed that there is one way to the Universe (God) and that is through Jesus Christ, and that this is the absolute truth. I hate discussing religion and politics, but what you’re saying clearly makes sense. We all have to realize that our truth is not someone else’s truth, and when we accept that, our would would definitely change. Thank you so much.

    • Unfortunately what Yaro is talking about isn’t Truth at all but one’s “perspective” on life or “preferences” in life. Truth can and really is an absolute thing. Whether or not the keyboard is a solid and not a gas is an absolute Truth, irregardless of yours or my opinion on the keyboard. We might have different perspectives on the keyboard: too hard, not wide-enough, cheap piece of junk, etc. but that doesn’t change the absolute fact that it is a solid, not a gas.

      The same is True for things we cannot see or bang our fingers on. Our perception, perspective, or preference might be the same as the guy on the computer next to me about life, God, the universe, etc. but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t Truth or even Absolute Truth out there. I may not understand it perfectly or in the same way as you, but that doesn’t negate its existence. Just as the keyboard.

      Yaro was using a person’s perspective to encourage us to choose our own perspective. He’s right. How I react is up to me. Its my choice. Unfortunately, but mistakenly mislabeling perspective and Truth as being interchangeable this article might benefit some people entrepreneurly and yet hurt them morally or relationally.

      • Evan,
        I agree with you – there are absolute truths and they are not interchangable with perception. However…

        When I say absolute truths, I am prolly talking more about Universal Laws.

        Elsewise, my perception is my reality which is my momentary ‘truth’ until such time as I choose to change my viewpoint/perception. That moment could last a lifetime or only as long as a conversation or an article or a book or…

        That’s what makes life interesting.
        Clare

  • Great writings Yaro – you are venturing into new terrain – combining mindset and online business (which is also what I have been trying to do, albeit on an ad hoc basis until I get going properly!).

    I have also been writing about ‘truth’ and ‘who’s truth’, how we interpret the world, change, and the importance of self awareness on my blogspot. Its been awhile since I wrote there and I have another rather long article pending, some of which is similiar to what you write.

    I have also written about the dangers of self-delusion in the context of positive thinking, because this is what we are ‘meant’ to do, or should do in a ‘politically correct world of positive thinking’!!! (which is what you also touch upon)

    I need to read the earlier articles still, but I learned some great pointers here – its a relief in fact to know that I can let go of the need to feel safe. Feeling secure, because of my past and fears, has been primary in my life and has guided all that I do and how I think and feel (not always to the positive!).

    I can let go and know that things will be ok – and this will be an incentive to find opportunities, as you say, if a fear and loss of security does come about. But its also ok to feel down/upset for awhile – put a time limit on it though, and then get back on track! lol

    Its also great to read that it is not my responsibility re: how other people feel or think towards me or the world – as much as I have tried in the past to help people ‘like me’, or expected them to act a certain way (only to set myself up for disappointment from such assumption!), I can control only myself at this individual level. Others have completely different views

    - the world is merely ourselves looking back, like a mirror … reflecting our perceptions of life events and everyone’s mirror is different.

    What a relief! thank you Yaro. I look forward to reading more – you have some words of wisdom for your age – and I suspect your views, writings will change over time – fundamentally, who knows – because we are always learning!

    at least i can gain some sense of ‘security’ in the knowledge that change is guaranteed – lol! (I have also written about this!)

    In fact, the similiarities in some of what you wrote, to my article (and pending article) is quite amazing – but there are many ‘positive thinking’ type blogs with similiar words, as they stem from thousands of years ago

    - how we interpret these words, will of course differ – lol! :)

  • Great post Yaro, you know the funny thing about ignorance is the fact that ignorance is bliss until you realize what you were doing wrong. They you can’t help but feel like a retard.

    The best thing to do here is basically realize the error of your ways and then improve it in the future, whatever it may be…

  • The fact that you’re “not always going to get what you expect” is such an important point. So many of us want to get everything figured out and THEN act. We naturally want to avoid mistakes and failure, but at the end of the day, you have to dive in and figure things out on the fly. Research is hugely important. Networking and learning are essential, but diving in and being willing to make mistakes, correct, reassess and go in a new direction when necessary is the only way to ACTUALLY make it happen. Without the mentality that you’re going to do it no matter what and being willing to ACT, all the research in the world will do you no good.

  • Hi Yaro, I’ve been away from your blog for a while and I forgot how valuable your material is. I love this article on self-awareness! Reminds me of the Mind Science teaching of my mentor, Rev. Ike. I’m going to Tweet a link to your article on Twitter!

  • Thanks Yaro! Another great message. I particularly like the part about not being able to change other people. We are only responsible for our own outlook….whether we see a glass half-empty or half-full. Seeing it as half-full allows possibilities….half-empty stifles them. As Henry David Thoreau said :” It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see”

  • Yaro – thanks for the post – I’ve been considering many of the points you make over the last months and one strand that could, perhaps, be broken out from your ignorance bucket it *expectations*. People often don’t achieve what they desire because they expect to get the results instantaneously…i.e I do X and I will instantly get Y. The world doesn’t seem to work like that right now…it seems to work in an incremental, daily progress, grain of sand at a time, way….the concept of modeling other success is critical but successful people make ‘it’ look easy (whatever ‘it is…) but don’t forget it probably took them some heavy lifting to become good enough that they can make it look easy today. In my mind having more flexible expectations and also focusing on enjoying the now experience makes those expectations more reasonable and in tune with the world and also, a heck of a lot less important…
    Enjoy the moments…
    Andrew

  • Yaro. Nice Post, albeit very deep as well. If more people tended to focus on what is important in life and see the big picture, they would make changes more in line with what is congruent to their success. This means having the tenacity to accept change and also to not reinvent the wheel. learn from others successes and not always try to figure it yourself. If people were given a set deadline to accomplish their goals and if those goals were unmet that it meant being punished, they would succeed alot faster and get away from a mundane and ‘safe’ (yet prohibitive) existence.

    Life is about going out there knowing what you want out of it and then getting it.

  • Good post. I try not to get too phylisopical. You cannot get other people to change unless they want to, or have too.

    For ones own goals, you have take the blinders off so that you can look outside of the box. The most successful people find a need then fill it. This is particularly true of internet marketing.

  • Good post. I try not to get too phylisopical. You cannot get other people to change unless they want to, or have too.

    For ones own goals, you have take the blinders off so that you can look outside of the box. The most successful people find a need then fill it. This is particularly true of internet marketing.

  • Entrepreneurs are always looking for possibilities and opportunities. If you’re focused on problems you’ll never see them.

  • Yaro: I’ve just re-read the first three installments and now this one. Just one of the things you said that struck me was “internal shift happens while changing physical circumstances”. We often find serendipitous things occurring in our lives when we are able to take some positive ‘physical’ steps.
    I’m keeping these articles bookmarked, and intend to come back to them again and again.
    Thank you!

  • Thanks Yaro, your posts around Christmas time were a back-to-basics restart on my life which had stagnated and was seriously turning bad. I know that any products you recommend will be good because you don’t just push things for the sake of it and I appreciate you ‘giving’ in the form of articles like this one which must take enormous amounts of time to think of and write.

  • So many people are paralyzed by their thoughts. We all fall into this problem from time to time.
    I believe all change begins with changing your thought patterns. Simply training yourself to focus on solutions rather than obstacles will make an immediate, positive impact on your life.
    The five core principles you laid out are on the money.
    As always, I received a benefit from reading your article. Blogging is a journey. Thanks for sharing your journey!

  • When the Tao is present in the universe,
    The horses haul manure.
    When the Tao is absent from the universe,
    War horses are bred outside the city.

    There is no greater sin than desire,
    No greater curse than discontent,
    No greater misfortune than wanting something for oneself.
    Therefore he who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.

  • Hi Yaro .
    i receive your letters and read this blog and I like your posts very much . I appreciate you .
    I’ve read may be Hundreds of books about success and off course myself have written 18 books about computer . this is my blogs translation in English :
    http://translate.google.com/translate?js=y&prev=_t&hl=en&ie=UTF-8&layout=1&eotf=1&u=http%3A%2F%2Frazavi.razdanesh.com%2F&sl=fa&tl=en
    I understand what you say . but i have a question :
    if you were in IRAN and many of sites was filtered and any internet financial transaction dos not work in your country and if your country doesn’t have any law or rules to work or success , what would you do ?
    I apologize for my English writing !

    • Razavi,

      I’m not Yaro, but I have a small suggestion. Visit warriorforum.com and look for a user called yommys01. He’s Nigerian. Nigerians, as you probably know, have many things working against them (stereotypes, unreliable electricity, etc.). This man, however, has become very successful over the last year or so. He’s a real inspiration. Maybe you can learn something from his forum posts. Good luck.

  • Yaro,
    how did you get so wise… I relate to everything you talk about and it has been quite uplifting.. especially today (I was on the pitty pot for a bit).. thank you..
    Lesly

  • My husband has this saying ‘The only constant in life is change!’. We both love it.

    If you don’t just accept the change but also embrace it and alter and modify your goals and destinations in life accordingly – not just do a nice talk about it but take action – success and happiness will follow.

    Aloha Pua
    Best Hawaii Vacation Blog

  • Your Message
    Bravo, Yaro! I’m Proud of you. You’re a natural teacher. When you announced this program, I admit I wondered if you could handle the philosophical and psychological depth required and formulate your insights in a way that actually would challenge people to change their lives for the better (that’s a tall order for anyone). You’re doing it in spades. Keep it going my friend. This is a quantum leap from what you have been doing.

  • Excellent post Yaro! Of all the material out there on this subject, you’ve added some unique pieces to the pie. It is very much you and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and found much benefit in doing so. Thanks for all you do and write that
    helps others.

  • Greta article! I was blogging on the same vein, really good stuff.
    Peace.

  • i have sent you a lot of emails concerning the you coaching, but up till we are unable to solve the puzzle of how i can remit pay my bill from nigeria. please i want you to find the solution to how i can settle my bill from nigeria soonest. thanks till i hear from you.

  • I agree with just about everything you have said in this article, BUT…

    You should try and lay out some definite steps to be followed on a daily basis or something like that that, such as would help a person achieve the right mindset. Otherwise, it is not going to be easy.

  • Yaro:

    This was my favorite line in this entire article:

    Any problem you have right now doesn’t exist and will disappear, I promise you this with a 100% guarantee.

    I’m going through some struggles right now with my business and this line lifted my spirits a little. Thanks! I’m going to tweet this post. Thanks for sharing.

    Travis Van Slooten

  • My favorite sentence of your article is “Truth, is only truth in your mind.” I really do understand that concept and the entire world will be much better off when everyone finally “gets it.” Thank you so much for the thought provoking and insightful post.

  • Yaro: so I’m sitting here at DMV (department of motor vehicals), and suddenly things don’t look so bad! Hehe

    great article, very insightful so very in line with what I believe (so very true). My brother and I have completely different views, and I mean completely, something I believe to be true and correct, we completely disagree.

    Everyhing is relative to perception, that is both good and bad depending on how you look at it. In business this means opportunity and that’s a wonderful thing!

  • Corinne Edwards

    Yaro – I love how you are mixing in some personal growth messages. Makes me feel that I am on the right track after all.

    One point I would like to comment on -

    “Some things are out of your control and you’re not always going to get what you expect.”

    This is true but you will get SOMETHING.

    I believe that any experience – even working in a McDonald’s in high school is valuable and is not wasted.

    I learned when I worked in a five and ten cent store at 14 that you should never goof off and get your finger caught in a glass baby bottle. It can get you fired and it did.

    (I have not done it since.)

    Love this post And love you. Funny, This morning, I was writing a post about big bloggers and I particulary mentioned you as a good guy who really will read your comments.

    You’ll see. You’ll get the backlink later this week.

  • Your post is very enlightening and it relieves some of my worries. It’s true Im worried about dying someday but your post made me realize that I don’t want to live forever either feeling pain, loneliness and constantly struggling. And you are right about being open to “change”, we have to embrace change because the only permanent thing in this world is “change”.

  • Yaro
    I like the points you make, but I’m concerned sometimes about some people’s ideas of success, and their efforts in striving towards it.
    Being successful is achieving a state of mind of feeling happy and contented.
    I read a few of these replies and Corrine Edwards post 48 mentioned that for her…
    – even working in a McDonald’s in high school is valuable and is not wasted.
    Great thoughts you might think, but the word “even” sort of implies a that this is a second rate job.

    I know that many people WOULD NOT be happy with a McDonald’s job, including myself, but there are people who would be not just happy, but overjoyed.
    The point here is that striving for more wealth, fame, recognition etc for some people is pointless; they already have everything they need.

    We can all learn something sometimes by taking a look at what matters most. Often this is more about family or relationships and not about aspiring to great financial, material or any other form of fleeting illusions of grandeur.

    When you really get down to it, most people want more, and more is often never enough. The really clever people often work in McDonald’s and “only” talk about becoming more successful; they already know that the desire is often more exciting than the reality or the dream.

    Just a thought…
    …all comments and complaints embraced…
    Good luck to you Yaro

    Mike
    p.s.
    It’s raining right now in England UK…I wish it was more sunny…last year mid summer was too hot…I prayed for rain. Oh, we had some snow last week, bored with that too now…glad it’s gone…Did I mention I wished I was taller, could play the piano better and had more money? (see what I mean) lol

  • Yaro
    I enjoyed writing the last post and thought that to underline my point I’d let your readers listen to someone who does seek greater things..the fact that she is my own daughter does not make a difference.
    she works on the priciple that “the harder she works- the luckier she will become”
    Hope you approve and enjoy her contribution to your topic.
    Mike

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFmP7ay7b-s
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4Xqoa-1A-M

  • Dear Yaro, Thanks for your article. Your ideas are really helpfull. Thanks to you I dared to make a step forward, making my own decisions.Right now I am struggling with some major obsticles in my life and your messages like a couching classes to me.
    Thanks again,man!

  • Yaro,

    Your writings are great. I have truly loved this series and look forward to the next installment.

    As a Blog Mastermind graduate, I admire your work.

    Thanks again.

  • Hi Yaro:
    You are great, I enjoy reading your articles like this. It is realy helpful and motivate.
    What make it good is that it is simple, go to the point, and like i read letter from a friend who concerns about me. Thank you and best wishes.
    Michael

  • The irony with “Beware Your Own Ignorance” is that most ignorant people are too ignore to be aware of their own ignorance.

  • Thanks Yaro! I really resonated with this thought~so narrow your focus to objective problem solving based on what’s in front of you~I want to do EVERYTHING and that is just not possible. : )

  • Yaro, are you going release this series of articles as a little ebook?

  • Hi Yaro, I have been following your blog with interest for the last few weeks and I find your tips about successful blogging very insightful and to-the-point. I am a bit less convinced by your self-trumpeted personal development stuff à la Tony Robbins. Frankly, you are repeating what thousands of self-help gurus and wannabes have said and written again and again. I find you very credible and inspiring as a blogging expert because you are telling new things about a new media. I don’t see the same with your life guru positioning. If you want to go into personal development, my advice: find your own voice.

    And thank you for your blogging lessons. Very helpful!

  • Interesting thoughts Yaro. Not unlike Stephen Covey’s “7 Habits of Highly Effective Families”, where Covey’s 1st Habit is Be Proactive…he says that to be proactive one needs 4 gifts which are 1. Self Awareness, 2. Conscience, 3. Imagination and 4. Free Will. To find out more read his book. It’s great for helping with managing relationships etc.

  • Some enlightening thoughts for sure. I an always searching for fresh ideas and you have a cart full here. Thanks for sparking my “inner thought machine”!

    Gregg Zban
    The Guru Hub

  • Fabulous info!!! You are really a deep thinker Yaro and are reminding me of concepts I should be thinking about daily!! Sometimes it was right there on the chalkboard all the time but we didn’t even think about it.

    Change IS permanent!!

  • Yes, it is all in our heads. How we see things and more importantly how we interpret them has direct impact on how we make decisions and what action or inaction we take.

  • Paulette

    Hi Yaro..I’m enjoying your positive change series. I’ve been on my self-improvement journey for over 13 years and it all begins with self-awareness. It requires you to be truly honest with yourself and have the courage to change the things you can and accept the things you can’t change.

  • Thanks for the great article series Yaro… they’ve definitely been worth the hour or two spent reading.

    My biggest awareness change recently has been to enjoy the journey rather than focusing on the destination. An important part of this – as you mentioned – is that sometimes the journey is going to be hard but you just have to keep going. Your personal sharing on this subject has been inspirational.

    Dan Kennedy has said repeatedly that success – although we define it for ourselves – takes courage. If life is easy we probably aren’t being all that we can be and who wants to get to the end and have a bunch of “I wish I…” statements hanging over our heads. I don’t think anyone’s going to lie on their death bed wishing they hadn’t missed the final season of Lost…

    I look forward to the exciting conclusion and thanks for taking the time to write it… obviously a lot of people have gained from it and it’ll only work to make the world a better place.

    Craig

  • Listen up everybody… cos this is just brilliance from Yaro.

    One of a kind.

    Nuff said.

    Gideon Shalwick

  • This is an excellent blog. The message is full of wisdom and valuable information that is needed by everyone interested in making lifestyle changes that will improve the quality of their lives. This is a blog article I will share. Thank You Yaro.

  • Yaro,

    Your comments parallel what I tell my clients:
    Change is good; strategic change is better.

    I call you the ‘thinking-person’s online marketing guru.’
    Lisa
    (Become a Blogger ‘graduate’)

  • Yaro, like always this is a great post. I have really appreciated this little series here. It seems like everything you were talking about was written just for me. Thanks Yaro!

  • Yaro,

    Man, all i can say is WOW! You must work for the gov’t. and been spying on me! Nah, just kiddin’.

    But, really, this series is truly AWESOME! I have to admit that I usually follow most bloggers at a distance, or just occasionally, so that I don’t get caught in a trap of spending all my time reading and learning and never applying, but for some reason I decided to read this all the way through. And I have to say this is probably the best reading I have come across in – well, a long time anyway.

    So insightful, but yet not so intellectual that it is hard to grasp. Actually, I am going to print this out so that I can highlight several profound points and keep them near to look over regularly. (This could have easily been an expensive paid product! Thanks for giving freely.)

    This has really hit me hard, as it seems you wrote this just for me. There have been a lot of things lately – circumstances, I guess you could say – that “I have allowed” to hinder me.

    And after reading this, even at 2:30 am right now, I can see that many of my problems reside in my perception of these circumstances.

    I really like what you said here in the second article:

    “Optimistic people do not see reality. Instead they contort their interpretation of what they are experiencing to see it as positive, regardless of what is really happening.

    Pessimistic people have a much firmer grasp of reality and as such often see the negativity in what is happening to them and other people around them.”

    Ouch! You got me there! Something I truly need to be more aware of, and deal with in a much different manner.

    This has truly been an eye opener for me, and I thank you for the time and thought you must have put into this.

    Must say I am really looking forward to the next installment.

    One more thought, however. I really would like to see you consider something you said earlier for another serious set of articles:

    “The fact that the third point is even relevant is particularly sad, in terms of a reflection of who we are as a people. It’s safe to say that if you’re reading this you’re dealing with issues one and two and have risen to the point where your basic needs are met. Although at one stage I’d like to more thoroughly review some things we can do to help eliminate that third condition, that’s a topic for another article on another day.”

    Sadly, I think a large portion of those around us right now really are at point 3, which is just trying to make ends meet in this economy.

    Please consider this.

    Keep up the awesome work. I will be following you much closer now.

    With sincere thanks,
    Robert

  • Hi Yaro!

    Excellent post; it brings to mind the last self help book I read over ten years ago: The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. The agreement I found life changing is “Don’t take anything personally”. The effect of that agreement has been to allow me to focus on myself, my life, my reality, foremost. In doing so, I have come to understand that my responsibilty in life is to be what I was created to be, not what other people think. The shift of my thinking, releasing me from the imbalance of holding on to other people’s views, also eliminated much unhappiness.

    • I’m actually reading that book right now Debra, though I started it after writing this article.

      All books in this area talk about the same universal truths, yet you can never hear them explained too often – it always helps.

  • Thank you for all of the past expertise you have displayed on blogging, membership sites and entrepreneurship, but this foundation on CHANGE is the base to true success.

    Keep helping me Yaro!

    Now I see why some areas of my life have not changed yet.

    “CHANGE IS PERMANENT”

    //Kantis Simmons

  • You are right. It is what the individual that is doing the thinking is thinking and acting. As far as I am concerned it doesn’t matter what you write. I learned 50 years ago the one only has one chance in three of having their ideas accepted.

    1. That is the worst idea I’ve ever heard.
    2. My idea (different from yours) works because my experience proves it.
    3. You are a genius! That is the best thing I ever heard of and I am going to do it now!

  • Yaro, I’m loving both the spirit and content of this wisdom series. You have hit on key, core pieces of the success puzzle. Inspiring indeed!

    I’d like to share a theme that I’ve been working with lately, the idea that there is one dichotomy we can pay attention to that has the power of eliminating all others. In any given moment, we are either coming from a place of fear and doubt, or from a place of openness to possibility. When we are in fear and doubt, all of the blockers have increased power. When we are in possibility thinking, the sky is the limit. Add in your many great suggestions and miracles can happen.

  • I like the bit about ignorance and limiting beliefs. To achieve success you need to want to change too.

  • Is this a “Pillar Post”??

  • I’d say a balance of things are good. I mean, total ignorance can be both a good and bad thing, and at the same time, total lack of it is the same way.

    They work on certain circumstances and that’s the way life goes.

  • Yaro:

    “If a good life is marriage, children and owning your home, but you’re single, broke and childless on your 35th birthday, then you must be a failure.”

    35? How about if one is single, broke and childless on one’s 55th birthday (next month)?

    Wayne

    • Wayne, Just want to ask, is it possible that your definition of success is not marriage and children. Have you considered looking for the success indicators in the life you have – success as measured from your deepest core – not from societies prescription.

      • Thanks for your interest and concern Shayla!

        But please do not worry, I am not too concerned with worldly or even biological success. The only success that really concerns me is success with fulfilling the purpose of my life.

        But! I will admit that in the past there have been times when I felt disappointed and even severely depressed that I did not have a family.

        However, I have been listening to and guided by my “Whisperer voice” (which is called “incandescence” in my work) for many years now and so far I have survived each and every challenge that Life has organized for my growth and my glowth.
        (It has not always been easy!)

        Recently and right now I am not feeling the fright of failure and the fright of dying alone and childless.

        I am more concerned with improving my power and my health and my strength and surviving long enough to fulfill my purpose.

        Wayne.

        P.S. All my life, since I was knee high I have said that I would not get married until I I was 55. (I have not felt mature or responsible enough to raise children [until now?] (And now I feel neither the desire nor the desperation to have a woman and children.) I will be 55 in less than a month, so, who knows?

        • Wayne, Just love where you’re looking for your definition of success. Me too! To be able to walk in the desert each morning and breathe easily around life is the best
          est. And everyday, I have the privilege of helping others grow and change. One woman found her soul mate in her fifties! How wonderful, you can too.

          My photo doesn’t necessarily reveal this, but I am now 66 and just launching a grand new adventure in life. Very excited everyday about each moment.

          • Thanks Shayla,

            good to know there are real people out there!
            (I am very isolated here.)

            Wayne.

          • Wayne, Now I’m curious. Don’t want to detract from Yaro’s excellent thread, but I am wondering where “here” is. If you want to reply directly to me, you can do so here: http://www.boldmovesblog.com. You’ll find me blogging about writing a plan for a major expansion of my business. Very challenging for a high creative like myself.

          • Shayla,

            I have sent you an email through your blog.

            (Sorry Yaro!)

            Wayne.

  • Yaro.

    It is great that you are recognizing (real-cognizing, real-thinking) the function of death at your tender age and life-experience.

    But!

    Are you ACTually feeling what you are thinking and writing?

    THINKING is easy. FEELING and UNDERSTANDING and REALIZING are required.

    Do you actually FEEL that you are going to die?

    Don you understand the importance and the necessity and the vitality of death?

    Do you understand that physical death (de-Earth) will be a relief (real life) but NOT an escape?

    One must welcome and love and invite death (but not WANT to die) before one can live.

    (There is no escape from the requirement of living.)

    Change and eventual physical death and the requirement to live are the only things in life that are inevitable.

    Yaro, do you understand the significance and the importance and the communication and the purpose of your “panic attacks”?

    Wayne.

    P.S. By the way, do you not know that living in caves is illegal in Australia?

    (Do you not know that every single square centimetre of land in the world is “owned” and/or controlled by someone? There is no escape from this society. Well, except Death :-))

    • Hi Wayne,

      I can say that I’m still a work in progress on the feeling parts, at least in the sense I feel fear still.

      I know this is true because I still have a fear of flying, which is actually a fear of death, so this is one area were I would like to change my reaction.

      So yes, conceptually these ideas are great, but living and feeling them is the real challenge.

      • Thanks for your reply Yaro!

        Yes, we are all still works in progress.

        Interseting that you feel fright of flying. (And great that you understand that it is related to fright of death.)

        Interesting to me as I have been terrified of heights all my life.

        (So of course Life has organized for me to be challenged over and over with working with heights in my previous occupation. [That I still have nightmares about several times each week twenty years later!])

        But! I am not frightened of flying!

        I am actually not very fightened of death. (I have done masses of work with myself to incept and love and welcome and invite death. [but not want ot die!])

        What I am frightened of is failing to fulfil my life’s purpose before death.

        And I am frightened by the possible processes of dying.
        (I am terrified of the idea of being burnt to death or torn into little pieces by a shark).
        But actually being dead? It will be relief!

        Wayne.

        P.S. If this deep and profound thread continues you may need to change the title of your blog! How does “Philosophers Journey” sound? (Of course the .com domain is almost certainly not available. :-)

        • Damn! Why do I spot the typos after I have submitted?

          • Same here! Has to be Murphy’s Law.

            By the way, I’m not afraid to die. I’m just afraid for the pain. Thus a sudden death would be most comfortable.

          • I agree Mario.
            A sudden death would be great.
            Or maybe a quiet death while asleep……………

            As for the typos, I am not sure I can blame Murphy, and unlike you Mario, I am a native English speaker so maybe I have to blame poor typing skills and inadequate concentration (and insufficient sleep?)

            (And maybe these nested comments borders hiding the right-handside of the sentences may have something to do with it. I can not actually see some of the words, so I can not see the typos until I have submitted the comment. An imperfection or a bug in the plugin Yaro? I will have to watch out for this on my blog.)

            Wayne

            I can not see much of what I just wrote, so here goes! More typos?

  • Your Message just to clarify the AWAREESS PRINCIPLE you are writing about

    Gestalt therapy uses an existential approach and considers a clients “here and now.” The initial goal for a client is to gain awareness of what they are experiencing and doing at that time in their life. This type of therapy encourages the client to directly experience a situation rather than talk about it. For example, if they experienced childhood trauma, they will be encouraged to become the hurt child rather than just talk about it. Therefore the therapists goal is to assist their self-awareness of what they are doing and how they are doing it.

    This awareness includes insight, self-acceptance, knowledge of ones environment, a responsibility for choices and an understanding of the concept of change. For the client – they will experience a discovery – they will realize new things about themselves, see old situations in a new light and look differently at significant others. As well, they will recognize that they have a choice in their lives and that they may behave differently, influence their own environment, deal with daily surprises and have the confidence to improve and improvise.

    To succeed in bringing the client this awareness, experiments are used. The Internal Dialogue experiment helps the client identify struggles in their lives for control. In order to do so they role play the conflicts they experience – being both the controlled and the controller at the same time. The Making the Rounds experiment helps a person be able to make confrontations, take risks, disclose themselves and try new behaviours to grow and change. To do so, the client must go around a group of people and speak to each of them or do something with each of them. In the Reversal Technique experiment, the client is asked to role play the opposite symptoms and behaviours from what they are suffering. This helps the client to accept the personal attributes that they have tried to deny.

  • “Once you start monitoring and adjusting your own interpretation and you start to dissolve your judgments, something interesting will start to occur. You will get curious.”

    In this case curiosity doesn’t kill the cat?

  • As a scientist I have to disagree on the “there is no such thing as truth”. True, the _interpretation_ of truth is not always universal (as per your example with the red apple), but this does not mean that there is no truth.

    If someone wants to know the truth, truely, he has to challenge his own belief system and accept that what he think is true may not be so. It is only by approaching the world with this sort of humility that one can really get to learn and know something. And even then, one should be open to be challenged again if a doubt arise and do what is necessary to see if this doubt is reasonable or not.

    Discarding all truth altogether can only lead to ignorance and obscurantism.

  • Hello Yaro,

    ‘Don’t take life to serious, you don’t survive it anyway!’

    This is the message I read between the lines in your great article and one of mottoes I love since I was a boy.

    At school I never let teachers define what or who I had to be. The same was true for the years (or should I say the life) that followed. I learned more and reached more than I could imagine back then, but I also lost on my way. It never withheld me from taking the road less traveled. Most important it never will be.

    Change is everything. It gives an extra stimulus to you creativity.

    You are right when you say that it’s your own decision what you think and as a result of it feel. There is just a little catch here and I know that you understand what I mean. Panic attacks. In one of your older posts I read that you had/have them too.

    Panic attacks can eat up all your creativity and paralyze you. I had them often and especially last year I had a series of panic attacks that killed all my creativity for month.

    Due to an unpleasant situation (I’m underestimating here) I had to do some steps back and reorganize my life. The result is that I had to go back to day jobs that are far under my educational level. However, first I had none, now I have three of them. I never thought I could fall that deep after all the things I studied and achieved before.

    Downgrading your life seems much more difficult than upgrading it, so to say. I think that the fear of lost is a fear that holds many people back to change something. Personally I see this downgrading process as a temporary thing (and it is) where I can pad the dust from my shoulders, lean back and see what steps in the right direction I can take next.

    I don’t blame the worldwide crisis for this, as my crisis begun years before that. Though I don’t blame anyone who is using it as an alibi for not trying something new (while I know they could) I always said to myself that being a victim is not for me. I don’t want to see me like one and keep going on as long as I can.
    There was even a doctor telling that a burn-out like the one I had suffered was comparable with a post traumatic stress disorder. I think however ‘cool’ this may sound when you can use this as an alibi, it would insult all those who are really suffering from this disease. Like victims of war or high school massacres.

    A very enlightening experience came when I re-discovered my blog. I started to put all the passion that was left in it and since then it’s flourishing. And when I say flourishing, I don’t necessarily meant that it makes me a living. Most important is that at the moments I work on the things I love, my life doesn’t feel like a permanent LSD-trip.

    In the end I seem to regain my strength again. I fall and stand up again. Everybody can win from me, but not when it comes to trying again over and over again. Finally the road less traveled is made for all of us. Make sure you walk it at least once in your life.

    Thank you again for your articles, Yaro.

    Let’s embrace the changes that are on our ways. We can’t avoid them anyway.

    N.B.: Forgive me my typos if you find any. I’m not a native English speaker, let stand an English writer.

  • Hi Yaro,
    I have been following this series and just love them.
    It breaks up the monotony of the week gone by and gets you back into a good frame of mind when you tend to find yourself wandering off into other things that you get distracted by.
    Thanks mate for allowing us to read this and in the words of Michael Jackson, “If you wanna make the world a better place, then take a look at yourself and then make that change”.

    Regards
    Troy

  • Hi Yaro,
    First I have to say congratulations on your awesome blog!! I have only just recently discovered it and your post today was very inspiring and no doubt will benefit many from your wisdom.
    I especially resonated with the bit about “friends” and this Is to true and a VERY good Idea,I recently did a “friend sweep” myself and agree totally that It is better to be around more empowering people and surrounding yourself with people who uplift and Inspire you then to be around dream stealers and nay sayers Is energy zapping and I have only a few people I count on one hand that are truly good friends but have found your philosophy to be correct and have drawn more enlighted and amazing friends into my life as a result!!
    Also to your comments on death and how you see it im glad you included into post as my father (and best friend,mentor and guide) recently passed of cancer.He was at peace though and was not scared (in fact he wanted to go sooner then later as he was suffering) but he has been spiritual all his life and because he was at peace and had a view of his disease/life and where he was going after death has made it easier for myself and mother to accept and move forward (I have my moments however but know to live each day at a time and I have only ONE life).
    Thank you again for your post I am glad that I have found your blog and your “say it as it is style”,not just being light and fluffy.
    Have an awesome day,
    Captain Liz

  • Just want to apologize for leaving a link on the blog roll a few minutes ago. I’m a bit new to this whole thing and it wasn’t until I had responded to a private message publicly that I realized all I had to do was click the link to do a direct response. So sorry! Over 50 here and learning! Shayla

  • Hi Yaro, I found you via Caroline Middlebrook (thank you, Caroline!) Reading you guys/gals is enjoyable because of the like-mindedness. Am talking in reference to success ingredients, recipe, formula or whatever. For having never been work-shy, always a hard worker, to the point of at times banging my head against walls [fat chance!], I’d say what had been missing when success was missing, was what I now consider the starting point and stand-out ingredient for any and all [lasting] success: LOVE for what you do, meaning the sensation while doing it, not [just] the hoped for outcomes. Success is not a stroll in the park. When the going gets steep, hard, dark and lonely – it will – and you cannot dig deep, you’ll give up. There might be other reasons for giving up, some of them major forces, but lack of passion will almost (almost?) guarantee it. And nothing gives you more dig deep reserves than deep love for what you do. There you go, a first penny’s worth.
    Cheers, Beat
    PS. Thanks for a fab blog and resource!

    • Drew

      This article is outstanding. Personally, I’ve been going through a lot of issues lately and this has really opened my eyes. I’ve tried a lot of self help methods and this article is what I’ve been looking for. If only I found this six months ago. Thank you Yaro. I will read this everyday from now on.

  • Dear Yaro,
    Thanks for providing wonderful insight into something which affects everyone! Thanks for highlighting such good examples of problems which you think only affect yourself, but in fact, there are plenty of people out there with similar or related problems. Now it’s time to apply those steps towards positivity =)

  • Yaro,

    I was impressed by your inspirational writing style! The article focused on empowering oneself to live in a manner which “lets go” of negative energy we seem to store and opens onself to new experiences and perceptions. I appreciate the insight and will refer back to your article to help me stay focused on moving foreward with openness.

  • Great Series Yaro, I could relate to so much of it as I continue to build a business online. This last post really articulates some valuable life observations that took me years to learn and a lot of pain. Judgment is such a destructive force that keeps us in ignorance particularly because it can operate so covertly at the sub conscious level.

    Keep it up

    David

  • re-reading the articles again was a good Idea, Thank you so much, I mean my life could change today, Thank you for the help Yaro.

  • Excellent post Yaro!

    A lot of powerful statements you touched on. Being a “glass half full” kinda person I found it incredibly motivational. I’ve been guilty of a lot of the home truths that you talk about in the past, but these days I tend to choose the more positive approach to things.

    I heard a quote a few years back which still rings in my mind to this day:

    “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got”

    Powerful stuff!

    Thanks again for a great series Yaro.

    Keith

  • Damn Yaro!

    Once again, you strike a chord that rings deep. Thanks for putting such a positive and personal spin on these life concepts in one great post.

    Over the years, I’ve found that it’s beneficial to “work” these concepts constantly in your mind like a muscle. I have personally experienced what happens when you let your ignorance make you lazy, causing you to fall back into your unproductive habits.

    This post is definitely an insightful refresh that I will continue to look back to when I catch my self slipping. Keep the incredible content coming!

  • Change is permanent,

    Amen!

  • Re-reading this series has helped me understand more ideas you’ve provided in each post.

    I realize that I have been worrying about problems, but they’re not really true. Most of them are about material things I wish I had. But I’m going to hold your idea close to me, the idea that no matter what our problems are, they’re not as severe as we think. I’m eager to have the ability to see something positive out of anything that happens in my life.

  • Yeah, truth is only truth in your mind. So it’s up to you to use your mind in a way that pleases you.

    Francesco

  • Change can be traumatic, but accepting and embracing change definitely is a very important part of becoming or achieving what you desire. We want to change, but are too scared of initiating change at the same time. A sad state of affairs, really….

  • As much as I like the part about relishing in meeting new people instead of being depressed about not having a boyfriend / girlfriend, that’s really hard for some people to do. It’s true though, but in some cases it’s like being stuck in the mud. You need to wait for someone to come and help you out.

  • I am in complete control of my life!
    I decide whether I do something or not!
    I can choose to be happy!

    These are all great beliefs. I have been struggling lately, and really enjoyed this article. It always amazes me how “not” a big deal some things are. But we make them so dramatic, so bad!

    It’s good to know that we really can decide to make it not a big deal, and just enjoy the journey that is life.

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