Chris Crowe is a friend in Brisbane who specializes in coaching people to create loving relationships, with a focus on the importance on polarity between partners.
We were talking recently about relationships and business. Chris noted the importance of your relationship with your partner and how much it impacts your business success. He often deals with people who act as though a relationship and a business are two elements of your life that can not be developed at the same time, yet in reality can be so powerful when in harmony.
I know plenty of entrepreneurs who if I asked why the run their business, the answer they would give me is for their partner and family. If that’s the case, it’s pretty clear that keeping your relationship full of love and passion is actually good business advice too.
In this guest article Chris is going to explain briefly how he attended an Anthony Robbins event, resulting in a “dissection” of his relationship with his girlfriend Kahlia in front of 3,000 people in the crowd, which led to them first breaking up, then reuniting and finding a new, deeper connection and sense of love. He will then relate some tools you can use to help foster a holistic approach to your relationships and your business.
Just in time for Valentines day, I now hand you over to Chris…
The Anthony Robbins Intervention
Anthony Robbins called for me to stand; we were at a Date With Destiny event in front of 3000 other participants. My partner Kahlia had already stood and asked Anthony Robbins for help with our relationship as we were tired from struggling to connect and had considered walking away even though we loved each other deeply. We needed to reignite the excitement and passion between us, to meet each others needs and connect from our hearts. We did not want to feel the hurt and emptiness inside anymore. We just wanted to be “us” again.
We thought we had exhausted all our options so we stood hoping Anthony Robbins could guide us to find the solution to reconnect our relationship.
At this stage in my life I had worked successfully as a Business Coach and was qualified within Neuro Linguistic Programming, Time Line Therapy, Life Coaching & Hypnosis, so I was no intellectual dummy! Mentally we understood what was happening, but emotionally we were confused and hurt.
Within our relationship and regardless of our qualifications and experience, there was something missing for me to fix my relationship “problems”.
At this point in the story any woman would say I was thinking like a true guy -”trying to ‘fix’ the relationship problem“. And yes I admit back then I was making one of the standard male mistakes of trying to “fix” instead of connecting and creating an environment to allow Kahlia to trust me and go deeper into her soul.
But at this stage as with many I had not learned and applied the foundational keys of a loving passionate relationship.
What unfolded at this event was one of the biggest learning curves of my life, instead of walking out arm in arm passionately looking into each others eyes. We BROKE UP!
Yes that’s right after 3 hours in front of 3000 people with Anthony Robbins we broke up…???
But luckily I had finally found my limit, and I was guided there thanks to Anthony Robbins and the 3000+ awesome people at that event that day.
This was just the beginning of our journey. From that moment I knew that I had to find out the answer, I needed to understand how to create a passionate relationship. I had to understand how to meet her needs and my own and do it from a centered, masculine healthy place.
Just as I learned to educate myself within business to increase my success I also had to understand relationships to live the exciting passionate loving relationship I desired.
From here we submersed ourselves in the study and understanding of creating a real relationship that would last the distance and is sustained with the feeling of true Love & Passion.
Let’s be honest, relationships are one of the most emotional areas in our life and can truly make us feel we are floating on heavenly clouds or bring us to our knees in pain.
Kahlia and I broke up at Date With Destiny, and from our journey we now share an intimate, open, sensual and passionate connection in our relationship, that grows deeper and stronger every day. We are expecting our child in May this Year.
We are so grateful to share that we have a passionate polarity and energy that we had never experienced prior to this journey. Only through the discovery of some key relationship tools, never giving up and not being afraid to put our hand up and ask for help have we made it this far.
Every area of our life has increased from this deeper connection. Our life is juiced from the passion we share together.
If you can relate to not living your relationship at the level you and your partner deserve, there is a solution and we would like to share some of our journey and the tools we learned to create a Passionate Loving Relationship.
Passion In Your Business
Have you ever felt the passion that you get when you are winning in business or starting a new (ad)venture?
The deep stirring and excitement that comes from the endless possibilities…
We’ll now that you can measure passion in your life I want to ask you, have you ever felt this passion within your relationship? Have you felt this passion lately?
Many entrepreneurs think they can only have one focus while achieving their success; it’s either the relationship or business.
But what would you say if I told you it’s possible to have even more inspirational juice to build a business when balanced with a healthy passionate relationship.
If you already have a relationship and perhaps even work with your partner within your business, how would you like to renew and retain the passion while still achieving success in business?
Imagine that… You achieve all your financial goals and also share it with your partner in a deep and fulfilling relationship.
Now I know what you may be thinking, because many years ago I thought the same thing…
“I can sort my relationship when we are successful and have made the money we want”
OR
“It’s ok we are nearly at our goal. Than we’ll go on a romantic holiday and sort that out, I can still fix it later”.
Unfortunately the reality is that someday may never come, and regardless if you achieve the business success you will sadly find at the end of that journey you are often either no longer in a relationship, or the passion is so dull that once the distraction of the business is removed, the relationship end is only a matter of time.
You have heard the cliché that money is not everything and love is the most important thing, so I am not going to bore you with what you already know.
The simple fact is you may be focused on financial/business success right now and you feel this is required in order to be in a mindset to focus the time to realize success.
I am not going to speak further about the success time frame of business because this is not what this article is about. We are here to talk about your Relationship success while still achieving your business goals – We want Holistic Success.
This is for you if you are in a relationship or if you would like to attract one while still putting in the required time and focus to reach your business goals.
Business Love Balance
We are going to term this the “Business Love Balance” which also happens to be the name of the program we designed to achieve the passionate connection in your relationship, filling your life with depth and love giving you a life of holistic success… The Ultimate Success!
Just as there is a structure to follow to achieve in business more efficiently there is also a structure and tools that can be applied to create the passionate polarity in your relationship, whether you are already in a relationship or would like to attract one; And no matter what stage your relationship is at. It’s never too late to reignite with the right fuel.
Within the Business Love Balance program I teach, I provide members with step-by-step tools to help create the structure to allow you to ignite and retain the passion between you and your partner. One of the tools is “Love Communication” – This one resource alone if applied will make a massive difference to your relationship.
‘Love Communication’ is understanding how your partner receives love best for THEM and communicating to them in this way.
Whether it is to deepen a moment, create understanding and rapport when resolving an argument, or if you are in business together, you can make your partner feel love and connection while working.
In this article I want to briefly share some of the basics of ‘Love Communication’ to help you get started in connecting and deepening your relationship.
There are four main ways a person likes to receive love, these are called sub modalities and they are:
- Kinaesthetic
- Auditory
- Visual
- Auditory Digital
These are the basics of ‘Love Communication’ – and these love strategies are an important place to start if you want to connect with your partner.
We all like differing variation of these to receive love, but one will often be a primary.
The other important note is we ALL use these preferred communications methods in many areas of our lives e.g communicating with work colleagues, connecting to our children or taking in new information.
The key is to know first what your own Love Strategy is and secondary how your partner likes to receive love.
To understand these and recognize them we need to know how they might appear in some basic examples; some one who is primarily Kinaesthetic would like affection and often be touching, hugging and kissing their partner or wanting to express their feelings. They are the “touchy feely” ones and can bring a lot of connection to the relationship. They feel and express love when touched and being close.
A person who is Auditory will like to receive love through words, they like to hear you say it and express to them by speaking. You may find this also generally leads into the bedroom if while making love you tell them how you are feeling and what you are going to do to them 
Perhaps read up on some naughty romantic literature if you are out of practice.
Visual people receive love through what they see, it can be the effort you put into your appearance, the incredible looking roses you present to them or even cleaning the home so they can SEE the effort you have put in for them. So as you can imagine they love what they can see.
Finally Auditory Digital, these people receive love often by processing their feeling, which as you can imagine can be contradictory to the general definition of love.
People who are primarily Auditory Digital can struggle to express themselves and open up to depth within their relationship. These people benefit from practicing the other strategies where congruent in order to truly deepen the connection.
Remember we all use differing variation of these strategies within our life and with our love communication and we can practice deepening and connecting using other strategies at times.
Now the key to ‘Love Communication’ and connecting with your partner is to understand not only what your own strategy is, but also importantly what your partner’s is. You will often find one of the main reasons couples lose connection is that they try giving love to their partner using the strategies they prefer receiving themselves.
Now an example of how this can create a problem; imagine a partner is Visual and the other primarily Kinaesthetic.
The Kinaesthetic partner always wants to connect with their partner affectionately through touching, kissing, and sharing regularly to feel & express love.
Now the visual partner prefers primarily to see the love, sure they like to touch and hug but generally different amounts makes them comfortable and creates connection specifically at certain moments. So when they are trying to communicate something they feel is important they will naturally use a lot of visual stimulation and require you to look and focus into their eyes compared to what they feel would be distracting, such as excessive touching at this time. They want to see you acknowledge what they are saying to you or showing you.
The key to this example and all other love communication is to understand what your partner prefers for communication and build rapport connecting with them with their love strategy.
Often simply understanding and applying this strategy alone will allow you to resolve arguments quickly, turning them into exciting moments. As well as connecting more with your partner and deepening during sex.
The Importance of Communication
A lack of communication or misunderstanding through your communication is the major reason a relationship fails.
Relationships do not end from a lack of Love but a lack of Passion.
Passion is created through polarity and deepening connection from the quality of the communication.
Can you imagine for a moment how this could help your relationship or if you are looking for one, allows you to connect with someone early on in the dating stages?
Now within the working environment, when a couple is in business together, communication is a very powerful tool to be productive in business, yet still make your partner feel appreciated and feel loved…
And of course it is a definite requirement to re-connect passion after a day of business together, changing the mood and at times the roles to realign your love and romance, creating a balanced life.
Just like all resources for success, a strategy is only useful if actually applied. This is one of the main reasons for the creation of ‘Business Love Balance’ – it provides accountability and continued growth to commit you to deepen your relationship, creating a deeply fulfilling life. Something we all deserve.
Chris Crowe
Learn more about how the Business Love Balance program guides you to meet your partner’s needs and stay accountable to create romance and passion, which leads to the truly magic moments of your life.
Communication is so important in any relationship! I do love how you shared a real life experience.
Trust is a lot more important! You can go a week without talking much, but try going a week wondering what your significant other is doing all the time and it will definitely eat away at you.
Trust & Communication are just as important as each other.
You will often find if you are not communicating to your “significant other” than you are not connecting and defiantly not meeting their needs.
So the FEAR of wondering what your significant other is doing is simply a by product of you knowing in your heart you are not showing up and being present for your “significant other”.
You can’t expect to honestly sustain a relationship long term unless you are willing to be honest upfront and communicate. With communication the trust follows as there is openness & connection.
Thanks Tom
“We are going to term this the “Business Love Balance” which also happens to be the name of the program we designed…”
Which also happens to be the ONLY reason for this poorly-written, long-winded, self-serving post. Got something to flog, gotta make a post that LOOKS meaty and relevant, but is really just air and empty calories.
Well if you don’t have anything nice to say maybe you shouldn’t say anything at all mr PJ Jnr.
Well said Yaro. I am with you all the way on this one.
I agree with Jnr about the post but Kudos to you Yaro for publishing his comment. I think a better post would be “how to become the Anthony Robbins of Blogging”. I would definately read that one.
In terms of relationships I think we need to fully understand the physical connotations of love (believed to be certain hormone productions) rather than the ideal of love because believing in that sort of perfection dooms any relationship to fail.
“In terms of relationships I think we need to fully understand the physical connotations of love (believed to be certain hormone productions) rather than the ideal of love because believing in that sort of perfection dooms any relationship to fail.”
Adam take that definition next time you are trying to connect with a woman and see how far you get..see how much she trust you & lets you in.
Would look great on a Valentines Card
Fearing Love & Relationships and analysing them wont solve the problem and eliminate the “DOOM” and pain you can experience from them if you are not showing up centred with courage, heart and certainty.
On this blog there are articles on mindset, and what you put in you get out- So imagine the result if focusing on love as a “hormone production” instead of “the ideal”.
Imagine building a blog without focusing on perfection…. so why are some people scared to apply the same focus and hopes for deepening and growing a relationship… creating the best they can. Live with Courage Love with Passion
“Love (Relationships) can float you on clouds or bring a warrior to his knees”
PJ- Love & Relationships are one of the most emotional subjects; so at times we will act out of fear and uncertainty.
My purpose in life is to inspire others to create Fulfilling relationships and experience the joy and growth that can come from relationships. It is to help my fellow brothers who want to own their masculinity and serve a woman’s femininity without fear and with honour.
I apologise if my writing is not up to scratch but .. than again it was not your mind I was speaking too.
Thank you Yaro for letting me share this message and to all others for your comments.
That is a very hostile response, PJ. Is it perhaps because you have had limited success with your own personal relationships?
PJ thank you for your feedback -
“Love (Relationships) can float you on clouds or bring a warrior to his knees”
Love & Relationships are one of the most emotional subjects; so at times we will act out of fear and uncertainty.
My purpose in life is to inspire others to create Fulfilling relationships and experience the joy and growth that can come from relationships. It is to help my fellow brothers who want to own their masculinity and serve a woman’s femininity without fear and with honour.
I apologise if my writing is not up to scratch but .. than again it was not your mind I was speaking too.
Thank you Yaro for letting me share this message and to all others for your comments.
Hi Yaro, Chris,
Excellent Article, I have a small confession to make, I started my blogging business about 7 weeks ago and it is impacting my relationship (and we have been together for years). The thing is that I’m kind of obsessive about blogging, I get up in the morning thinking about it, I go to sleep thinking about it, and it is hard to talk to me about other things. So you can understand it has been a bit tense lately, I hope I did a good job with my blog and then it is all worth it.
Thanks – Ami
Thanks for sharing Ami, That takes courage! The type of courage that creates the strong foundations for a relationship.
. Unfortunately most guys just argue back from a weak state and that just creates further problems.
Ami I can relate to getting focused on a task (purpose) and at times neglecting other things.
The key as you would know is balance- easier said than done when the train is flying through the station
Your relationship will naturally be impacted if you are not giving her time as if she is a feminine woman she naturally requires attention and love… and wants to feel your centred energy so it reminds her she is safe and can trust you.
The key to nurturing your relationship when a project takes over is to schedule time for your partner, realising this will actually inspire your work if you are connecting. And importantly use this time effectively with your partner, start with a focus and spend a moment preparing yourself.
In other words spend the time focusing on communicating to her needs, centring yourself in your masculine presence and giving this 200% while with her.
Generally a woman will only need a few minutes of a man’s focused time when he is doing his purpose if he is in his “centred masculine”.. Just enough for her to fill back up, trust him and feel certainty.
Now if you are already feeling the pressure in the relationship the other important thing is to let her empty out….???
Yer the emotional storm bit where she tells you all the things she is P@#sed about and you with a strong presence let her know you can handle her emotional storm, you are strong enough… Trust if you do this bit from the right place the storm passes very quickly and you will spend the time a lot more fun
Mind you I am not saying don’t stand up for yourself when congruent… just allow her to vent and while she does this send your masculine love into her soul so she can feel you understand her. And of course communicate your thoughts back to her utilising her communication love language.
This may sound a bit odd if you have not heard this type of thing before but it works, it is the secret to communicating to the feminine woman and enjoying all the benefits.
There is an article on our blog http://bit.ly/bpc4iu that you might enjoy regarding the masculine if you are new to the examples I gave.
If I can help in any other way please visit our site and send an email.
I honour you for stepping up and wanting to fulfil your relationship!
Ami – be very careful, your partner is giving you a distress signal, pay attention to it!
Unless your partner truly understand and is supportive you all the way with your are trying to achieve, you have to realize that if you don’t do a good job with your blog then it is all not worth it.
I personally would not be able to stand up and be counted like Chris and Kahlia. I am blessed with a fairly easy way with all my relationships romantic or otherwise and have not found the need yet for any outside interventions. May be I am just lucky!
I would find it very difficult to work and date the same person. I know it can be done, but it is just not for me. A good read, much I respectfully disagree with, maybe Ill make a response post since it would take me a while to disect what I take issue with. Thanks for sharing your perspective though Chris, good luck with your program.
-David
“I had to understand how to meet her needs and my own…Let’s be honest, relationships are one of the most emotional areas in our life”
This rings very true with me. I’ve had numerous relationships and always lost my excitement very quickly. I’d stay in there for a while out of laziness I guess but in the end, none of them lasted. Then one day my current girlfriend said, “you know, I don’t think everything fun and worthwhile needs to be extensive work, but I’m not there to pass your time”. She’s a model BTW ( that’s her: http://www.modelscouting24.de/ID2793.html xD) so I figured if things don’t work with such a dream girl, maybe there was actually stuff I needed to work on. We’re still together!
Wow! You sure do have a looker there.
Glad to hear you snagged a meaningful relationship on top!
Great job Andreas, I am sure you woman has many beautiful qualities that made you step up and serve. Awesome!
I am with Ami on this one – it sometimes feels that I go to sleep with blogging on my mind and wake up starting off where I finished the night before (obsessive or what).
A relationship can make or break a business as well — it is important to have the support of your partner in life, whether they participate in your business venture or not. My husband (thankfully) is very supportive of me working from home, and I am so grateful to have such a kind man as a life partner.
In turn, when he wants a life partner, but I would rather be working on my website… I have to remember to make time for him. It’s a two way street.
Great post. I enjoyed it.
To your massive success,
Heather
Love this guest post. Balance is so important in love and in business and I’m so glad you were able to find your balance with your loved one. Congratulations on your first child! It’s really great to have your loved one standing behind you 100% because THAT can really affect how well your business thrives.
One of the things I love about your blog is its holistic hue.In our quest for financial success we sometimes forget why we are working for money in the first place.Ends and means.We tend to forget the ends.Money is important,and there are strategies for making it easily.But it is not so easy to find love or harmony with another soul.
We need to re-define what success means to us.When I think of a successful man,I see a juggler.Life has many vital facets.The successful man/woman is the multi-tasker who can do many things “at once”.No bank account can compensate for lost love.Thanks.
My husband wears a pair of birkenstocks which look like business shoes – so comfy, but can get stinky without socks. I use comfy insoles if I stand all day at work.
Hi Yaro
I find it very interesting the earlier post PJ has left because the truth is many bloggers wouldnt reveal a bad reply on their blog so it shows your blog has balance and that it is real and not doctored in any way.
Oh and fantastic guest post!!!
kind regards
sam
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