Today I have a treat for you – Rich Schefren, my coach and mentor who helped me to restructure my business model to focus on what I really want to do and create significant freedoms in my life, has provided an original article for EJ readers covering the topic of the moment – attention.
This is an area that Rich has studied recently to a very significant degree and with the release of his Attention Age Doctrine Part 2 you can take advantage of his knowledge and foresight. No business owner should ignore this or you risk being ignored in your own marketplace.
You can download the Attention Age Doctrine by clicking here.
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Pour Yourself an Attention Cocktail
Some people call it the “cocktail party effect.” Others just call it rude.
We’re all familiar with the scenario. You’re at a party or business function and you are introduced to someone you truly admire.
Immediately following the introduction, as you say something remarkably intelligent that you had prepared precisely for this moment, you notice that the other person is not making eye contact.
Instead, she is looking over your shoulder at the next person she would like to meet. She is not giving you full attention. In fact, you’re lucky if she’s paying attention to you at all.
Rather than focus on you and your story, that person you really admire is just looking for a way out of the conversation so she can move on to the next, presumably more interesting, conversation partner.
And she may not even realize she is doing it.
This happens more often than you think. Attention is fleeting. So is cocktail party conversation.
To pay attention to any particular person, you must reorder your mind to the thoughts of that person. You must think her thoughts, feel her feelings and want what she wants, or you are not paying attention.
Fast forward to your home life and your own bad habits acquired in the “attention age.”
Your child is telling you a funny story about what happened today in fourth-grade science class, and as you are “listening,” you reflexively glance down at your Blackberry. Not once. Not twice. But constantly throughout the conversation. Your child notices the distraction. Worse yet, he now feels that you are more interested in the Blackberry than you are in him.
So much for winning “parent of the year.”
Whether at an office party or at home with your family, it’s apparent that we are not paying enough attention to what is most important in our lives. Our attention is divided and subdivided in so many ways, by so many different distractions, that we are left wondering about the last time we really gave full attention to anything at all.
Think about it: When was the last time you truly gave full attention to anything?
Was it during your drive to the bank? Bet you didn’t fiddle with the radio or talk on your cell phone at all on that trip.
How about during your early morning fitness run? You were completely focused on the path you were following, right? No outside distractions from the iPod, the cyclists sharing the same path, your thoughts about what you need to put on the “to do” list for business.
Or when you visit a blog. You come with one purpose alone, not with the idea of reading a few lines and then bouncing to the next post … right?
You get the point …
We are constantly distracted. Each day, each moment presents itself as another obstacle to our focus. There never seems to be a straight path to anything anymore. Every vision has some sort of “obstructed view” that alters what we really see.
We “get by” in all of these situations by rationalizing about our amazing abilities to “multitask,” but deep down, we know that is just false bravado.
You’re not really multitasking. You’re simply not paying attention.
So, what are you going to do about it?
Our attention is scarce. So is the attention we shower upon others. Sometimes that shower has a very weak stream, or is so diffused as to seem merely as “mind mist” – tiny, barely perceptible droplets of attention.
We owe it to ourselves, and certainly to others, to strengthen our attention and use is as a force to improve our relationships and business interests.
Understanding a person’s emotional needs and desires is the key to success in personal and professional relationships. The kind of “emotional branding”
we now witness in advertising comes from the need to connect with people on a level deeper than the superficial.
Our attention toward a person or idea transcends material satisfaction and helps us experience emotional fulfillment.
Isn’t this why Oprah Winfrey strikes such a chord with so many? Beyond her bubbly personality and business smarts, Oprah realizes that people have an emotional need for attention. The winners in Oprah’s world are those who give attention appropriately while not asking as much in return. The reward comes with the surprise that the more attention we give, in many cases, the more attention we receive.
If Oprah can do it, so can you.
Successful entrepreneurs and companies develop a culture of connection that catapults them past their competitors and into the minds and hearts of their consumers. Apple does it. Hallmark does it. Starbucks does it with an added jolt of caffeinated confidence.
These companies succeed because they pay attention to consumers and how they feel about their products.
What are you doing to develop this kind of connection culture among your customers?
As Starbucks founder Howard Shultz says: “The best way to build a brand is one person at a time.”
So, what’s your story? How are you really connecting your story, your products, your business with your customers?
Are you giving your customers full attention? If so, how?
Is your attention cup half-full or half-empty?
Rich Schefren
If you haven’t had a chance yet to grab Rich’s Attention Age Doctrine, it’s 100% free (well almost, you have to give him your email address) and you can download it by clicking here.
You can also read through what I had to say about it yesterday in my blog post review of the Doctrine.
I think we are moving more and more to a ADD culture. We are all so connected and that tends to make our thinking very disorganized. Text messages, Email, Facebook Pokes, Facebook Messages, Myspace Comments, Myspace Messages, phone calls, Emails, voicemails, forum comments and notifications. The list goes on. What is worse is we keep looking for ways to be more connected and hence more distracted. Crackberry anyone? Unfortunately, I don’t see this trend going away any time soon. If someone can come out with a product to make it go away I think that they would have a really good business and at least one customer. Me! Oh, and I came here wanting to read a different article and got distracted into reading this one. Thanks Yaro!!!!
Wow,this is great.Thanks Yaro for getting Rich to put in this enlightening article.
Rich,I love your apt description of attention.Most of us overlook it but in one way or the other,we are not paying attention enough to the customer.
We seemed to be drowned by the noise in the marketplace.I guess this new report of yours is a wake-up call,if not for everyone,at least to me.
Most of the we do something that we “THINK” will draw attention to us but instead we are bouncing it away.
2008 will be attention grabbing year?
Thank you for such a great article, my attention cup has forever been half empty but from this point on it shall be completely full as the case might be
I sat down and read your Attention Age Doctrine 2 last evening and will be reading it many times more before I succeed in becoming a maven. I am happy that some of it I already have working and can see how to move forward. Your attention to attention is indeed respected and acknowledged and there is no doubt I would love to interview you for my blog
I was able to interview Yaro a while back and he is a very interesting and honest person and the effect on my traffic was worthwhile.
Good coverage Yaro. I constantly feel like I am splitting my attention up between so many sources and ultimately killing my own productivity. I recently stayed up all night working on tasks, the next day I slept all day. This killed my productivity. I would like to remind my self and everyone else who blogs: Because you should write a good post everyday, make it your goal, strike out to do it early, when you’re done leave the blog alone. Comment on other blogs and respond to yours. Like you said, it takes 12-30 minutes to write a good post, but we should build our brands one person at a time. So write a post, and then comment on others blogs with solutions or participation. They will follow your link and at the end, find a good post! I just answered a big issue I have had for some time now as a new blogger. Thanks Yaro!
Yaro,
Thanks for putting me in touch with Rich!
This is awesome stuff!
Craig
Lest any us think we give/pay attention to someone, try this the with the next person you come in contact with, LISTEN just listen to what they have to say, add a comment only to provoke them to talk more so you can listen more. All of us, are searching for significance on some level. One sure fire way to make them feel significant is to LISTEN to what they have to say. Perhaps some of the strongest relationships I have were built on the foundation of listening, meeting people right where they are and listening.
Want proof? All of us commented on this post, generally for one purpose, to be heard and even if it was for a moment, we felt significant, I know I did. Solid relationships online today = Customers tomorrow.
I highly agree, I like your idea about getting someone to talk more so you can listen. As a psychologist, you are supposed to prompt someone to tell you certain things that they wouldn’t tell you if you asked bluntly. Old Japanese martial arts proverb: “slow to speak, quick to listen, slow to anger”
I agree with Gary Zaydman. The more we network, the less attention we are able to pay to a singe person. That unfortunately is turning into some sort of culture.
Hi Yaro,
Thanks for informing me about this great report. I think i have given the right decision to jump into your Blog Mastermind program. Please come and visit my blog when you have time.
Coming to your question regarding how to understand what our readers need, i guess all bloggers can make polls regularly (there are lots of WordPress plugins for this purpose) and evaluate the feedback received.
Cheers,
Mert Erkal
Unrelated but does anyone know if Yaro has an affiliate program for Blog Mastermind?
He sure does Bill, you can check it out over here if you’re interested.
http://www.blogmastermind.com/partners/
He offers $35 dollars per sign up and $35 dollars for each month they remain in the program.
Hey Yaro, great job getting Rich as an invited blogger!
Yaro…great post. I wonder if most Bloggers think of their readers as customers?
Do they make themselves accessible to their readership or is that limited only to those with little to no traffic?
If being accessible to your customers was good when you are small, it must be good when you are the traffic master….I am just interested in how you or some of the others handle the traffic you generate.
I think some bloggers certainly look at their readers as prospects, which is one step before customer.
Although most bloggers don’t think in a business mindset, which is a good thing on some levels, but could certainly help them when it comes to generating a stable income source.
Branding and blogging are certainly two things that go hand in hand.
hi yaro..
you has a great blog..i always use it as my review blog
I think as entrepreneurs it’s critical that we find a way to maintain focus on what we are doing at any time, and unfortunately most Blackberry users destroy their ability to focus with the habits that they use.
The other day while traveling through New York I saw a guy with his hands over his head, punching away at his Blackberry, with his eyes locked on the screen. That was a little strange, except that he was at the urinal with his pants unzipped… “multi-tasking.”
I have been using my time management system to help me remain focused, but it took some custom-design on my part to get it the way I wanted it.
whats this time management system you’re referring to?