Steve Pavlina Interview - Part 3
Here is the final part of the interview with Steve Pavlina. You can read part one here -
Steve Pavlina Interview - Part 1 and part two here - Steve Pavlina Interview - Part 2.
8. Children
It can be hard to encourage children to be their own person and go against the grain when peer pressure is so entrenched in school life. How much intervention do you have in how your children develop? Do you take an active role or let them make their own mistakes and come to their own conclusions?
My children are still very young (ages 2 and 6), so peer pressure isn’t a big factor yet.
My degree of intervention depends on the particular situation my kids are in and how serious I perceive it to be. For example, if my daughter fell into doing illegal drugs, I’d intervene hard and fast and get her out of that situation ASAP, even if it required breaking her ties with her peer group and putting her in a different environment. In the short run, she might hate me for it, but I can accept that. However, if she falls into a peer group that wears weird clothes or listens to freakish music or is mildly rebellious, I’d probably support that behavior. I don’t want my kids to be clones of me. I want them to explore their own uniqueness, as long as they aren’t taking foolish risks.
I recognize what a big deal peer pressure can be, not just for children but for adults too. I think the best I can do is to lead by example. How do my children see me handling peer pressure? Do they see me violating my own values to conform? Do they see me rebelling haphazardly? Or do they see me choosing friends consciously based on my values?
Children are great teachers. If your moral compass is off kilter, kids will pick up on any hypocrisy and ask questions to expose it. But if your values are honorable, then it is more likely your children will find them worthy of modeling.
Values are a big deal in our family. For example, all of us our vegan. We do not have to force our daughter to eat vegan. In her own way, she understands why we chose this lifestyle and willingly adopts it too. She loves animals and understands that non-vegan foods contribute to animal suffering. Consequently, she often challenges adults who eat meat and will say to them, “That’s not vegan! You’re eating animals, and that hurts them. Why are you hurting animals?†It’s really interesting to see how certain adults react to having their values challenged by a six-year-old.
I want to encourage my children to make conscious decisions, even if they don’t make the same ones I would. When my daughter becomes a teenager and starts going out with friends a lot, if she wants to eat animal products, that’s her choice. My role is to see that she makes such choices consciously.
9. Community Vs Individualism
In western cultures we are brought up to work towards individual self development and achievement. We are taught to seek self-satisfaction and work mostly on self-serving, materialistic goals. In other cultures community comes before the individual, people are considered part of a group and ‘family’, which in many circumstances results in a very
harmonious and happy existence. Do you think our current western culture is lacking in community values and places too much emphasis on individual gratification?
Yes, I’d say that’s accurate. The way I resolved this issue for myself was to create a life that achieves congruency between service to self (STS) and service to others (STO). I’ve written about this previously in my blog here:
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2005/07/how-selfish-are-you/
Certain individuals have a tendency to favor either STS or STO, but if you favor one side at the cost of the other, your life becomes unbalanced. On the STS side, you may choose to harm others or the environment for personal gain. And on the STO side, you may sacrifice too much for the benefit of others. Either you damage others, or you damage yourself. Both extremes are unsustainable. In the past my personal tendency was to error on the STO side. I would give to the point of burning myself out until I was forced to withdraw and restore my energy.
I do not recommend compromise either. Compromise means being half-STS and half-STO, with neither side being fully satisfied. Often this involves compartmentalizing different parts of your life. Perhaps you follow a selfish career path working for a company whose primary goal is profit, and know your work isn’t serving the highest good of all or filling an important human need. However, in your personal life, you attempt to give your best to your family, foster good friendships, and do some community service. You’re selfish in some ways and selfless in others. But this is not the ideal path for fully conscious humans.
The conscious path is to create congruency, where STS and STO actually become the same thing. There’s no compromise or compartmentalization, and balance is achieved in all parts of your life.
I was able to achieve this situation for myself by consciously deciding to build a business that would balance STS and STO. On the STS side, I run a for-profit personal development business. I’m not much of a materialist, but I do want this business to generate abundance and to provide me with lots of freedom. I also want a business that challenges me and helps me grow. On the STO side, the primary goal for my business is to serve the highest good of all. That purpose is actually written into my LLC’s formal operating agreement. This is a higher goal than generating a profit, but in order to sustainably fulfill this purpose, the business must be fiscally sound. However, if there’s ever a serious conflict between serving the highest good and earning profits, then profits will be sacrificed. This is not the kind of business a typical venture capital firm would find attractive.
In practice, I’ve set up the business so the actual activities I perform are both STS and STO. For example, when I write a new article, it helps build traffic, generates revenue from advertising, and puts money in my pocket. It also generates feedback that helps me refine my ideas, so I experience growth as well. But when I write, I do so with the primary intention of helping others grow. I don’t concern myself with how much ad revenue a particular article will bring in or whether it will generate a lot of traffic and links. I just ask myself, “What can I write today that will genuinely help people?†The business is structured such that I can focus the bulk of my energy on the STO side (which is my preference), and the STS side largely takes care of itself.
The hardest part for me has been to allow myself to receive and not just give, give, give. For a long time I felt uneasy about getting paid for this type of work at all. I just wanted to give everything away for free. But I soon found that wasn’t sustainable. I also questioned the belief that I should sacrifice my needs to serve others when some of them expressed a clear willingness to help support me financially.
It took a while, but eventually I came to understand that because I was focusing on serving the highest good of all, then serving my own needs was entirely congruent with serving the highest good of all. If I achieve financial abundance, then I can turn around and teach that to others. And greater abundance means I can expand my service and hopefully do even more good. Any good that comes to me simply flows back out again as a way to serve others. So it’s just as important for me to receive as it is to give.
Even when I work on components of the business that seem purely STS, I recognize now that there is an STO component to them. For example, last year I put some serious effort into optimizing my site to make it generate more income. More income means more money available to improve the service I provide. That money allowed me to buy podcasting equipment, so I could offer a free podcast. I also upgraded my web server twice (I currently pay $149/month for hosting), so the site is very fast and responsive. The more money I make, the more I’m able to increase my service. And the better my service, the more money I make. So my situation is such that STS = STO. This is a wonderful place to be.
If you base your life around genuine service to the highest good of all, then serving your own self interest also serves the highest good. The more abundance you have, the greater your capacity to give. This is the way to balance traditional Eastern and Western values. There’s a space where they overlap, so you just need to find a way to live and work in that space. If you devote your life to serving to the highest good of all, then enjoying abundance in your own life will become an equally honorable pursuit.
10. Finding Purpose and Meaning
One of the benefits of living in a western culture is our abundance of choice. People can choose what they do with their life and enjoy tremendous personal freedoms, yet many have difficulty finding a true calling, an occupation that motivates. Many people suffer due to lack of purpose despite so much opportunity. For readers who have yet to find their personal legend, what advice would you offer to help them find it?
The reason your purpose is fuzzy is because your understanding of reality is fuzzy. If you experience confusion about your purpose, then forget about purpose for a while. Instead, focus on developing an accurate model of reality. Once you understand reality accurately enough, your purpose will become clear.
Increasing your accuracy means facing those parts of your life you don’t want to face, looking them square in the eye, and accepting the truth about them. The more truth you’re capable of accepting, the more accurate your model of reality will be.
Often when people start on this path, they’re in deep denial about the true status of their existence. They may refuse to accept many things about themselves that others would readily acknowledge, such as: I’m out of shape, I’m stingy, I’m in debt, I eat poorly, I’m dishonest, I have many bad habits that I’m ashamed of, I feel powerless, I’m not contributing, I’m afraid, my work is unsatisfying, my marriage is unfulfilling, etc. Too often people lie to themselves and refuse to accept the problems that surround them. But when they finally accept that their life isn’t what they want it to be, that becomes the seed for future change. Problems are transformed into challenges.
It’s very difficult to accept the full truth of your situation when you’ve been lying to yourself for so long. But you won’t find your real purpose under a blanket of lies. It’s only when you start facing the unfaceable parts of your life that your purpose will become visible.
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Steve Pavlina Interview - Part 2
Continuing the interview with Steve Pavlina here is part two. You can read part one here -
Steve Pavlina Interview - Part 1
4. How To Reach More People
You use the slogan “Personal Development For Smart People” and talk about raising levels of awareness. The majority of people in this world are probably not at a level of awareness to seek out self development materials like you produce. Many don’t have access to the Internet and few who do will ever stumble across your blog. Given these restrictions, how do you plan in the future to expand your readership and influence?
I’m not here to directly reach every man, woman, and child on earth. My general purpose is to help people grow in consciousness and awareness, but that’s more of a direction than a path. My more specific mission is to influence the influencers.
Single-handedly raising the level of consciousness of the whole planet is too much for me to handle, at least at my current stage of development. Triage is essential. I have to say no to a lot of worthy causes, and sometimes it’s heartbreaking to do so, but if I try to help everyone on earth directly, my specific mission will fail, and I cannot allow that to happen.
Influencing the influencers is my particular leverage point. I specifically aim to catch people in their 20s and 30s, a large percentage of whom are Internet-savvy, and help them realize that there’s more to life than getting a job and making money. These people are the future leaders of tomorrow, and if just a small percentage of them learn to listen to their hearts and not just their heads, it will make a world of difference.
Like many others my age, I have little faith in our current business and political leaders. I don’t vote in any elections because there’s no point. The people and issues that make it onto our ballots are spawned from a very low level of consciousness. Our leaders care more about power and perception than they do about truth and service. That’s cowardice, not leadership, and it needs to change. But the only way I see change happening is if enough people raise their own consciousness to the point where they refuse to be manipulated by fear and falsehood. We need leaders who are conscious and compassionate, who care more about serving the greater good than they do about enriching their egos. But we also need people who are willing to accept having an honorable leader in power, and that requires that people learn to manage their fear so it can no longer be used as a means of manipulating them.
Fortunately, I’m not alone in this mission. There are thousands of others who share a similar purpose, each serving a vital role. It’s very encouraging to see others working to help shift the dominant mode of human consciousness from fear to love, from competition to cooperation.
As long as my web site continues to enjoy such rapid growth, it makes sense for me to continue focusing my attention there. When the growth rate slows, I’ll expand into other media to reach more people. But I intend for the web site to remain the central hub for all my work. This is just the beginning.
5. Blogging
In 2005 your blog was one of the fastest growing individual blogs. As a blogger, what do you think the future holds for blogs and blogging? What direction would you like to see blogs take?
I’m hugely optimistic about the future of blogs and blogging. Blogs are quickly changing the face of media, injecting a much needed dose of truth. Bloggers tend to be an ornery lot, myself included, having little tolerance for the phoniness and falsehood that infests traditional media. Some bloggers take things a bit too far, but it’s nice to see that blogs are acting as checks and balances on mainstream media. Typical newscasters look ridiculously phony when compared to typical bloggers. I think this will ultimately force changes in mainstream media. They’ll have to change as they begin losing business. The advertising dollars are already flooding into blogs, and that’s only going to increase.
More and more people are coming to realize that traditional media has betrayed them. For too long the media has placed corporate interests ahead of truth. As the movie The Corporation
I believe that blogging is going to be a very disruptive influence on systems that are invested in falsehood, especially corporations and government. Blogging is providing an outlet for intelligent people of conscience to finally be heard over the paternalistic, fear-based blabber of traditional media. A corporation or government entity can start a blog, but if it tries spouting the same nonsense it puts in its “for dummies†TV ads, it will soon find itself shredded to pieces by the blogosphere. The bloggers who are honest and credible will continue to draw more and more traffic. People are desperate to hear genuine truth, so herein lies an enormous opportunity for bloggers to build traffic. A blogger can afford to speak the truth on subjects where a corporation or mainstream media entity cannot. A willingness to speak the truth is a blogger’s greatest asset.
I want to see blogs continue to grow in the direction of truth, truth, and more truth. This is a very exciting development because it fits so well with my mission to help people grow. Truth is a powerful enabler of growth.
Making a profit from blogging is all well and good. I expect money will continue to flow into the blogosphere. But I don’t want to see it get in the way of truth. The Internet is such a great equalizer because it’s a lot easier to build a high-traffic web site than it is to create your own TV network.
6. Business
As a small business owner you face many unique challenges every day. How has developing on a personal level helped you as a business person? What do you consider to be the key ingredient(s) to start, build and grow a successful small business?
Obviously the answer depends on your definition of success. I’ll assume a blended definition of success: making a meaningful contribution to the world, enjoying a healthy profit, and finding your work deeply fulfilling.
The single most important factor I’ve found in creating a successful business is accuracy. The business (and the entrepreneur) must be driven by an accurate model of reality, and according to that model, there must be a hugely compelling reason to create the business. If creating the business is merely an option instead of an absolute must, then you shouldn’t create the business. You’re just wasting your time.
When I started my games business, my original purpose was to have it be an outlet for my creativity. It was a vehicle for me to create and sell my own games. A secondary purpose was to entertain and challenge people. But as a purpose, this was only so-so in its level of inspiration. In the grand scheme of things, the work I was doing didn’t really matter to anyone but a handful of people. Nevertheless, this business took a significant amount of my time to build.
The accuracy of my thinking increased when I acknowledged that the world didn’t need another games business, not even a good one. There were far more important needs to address. Eventually I was able to connect the dots between the most crucial human needs and my own personal talents and abilities. For me that connection was personal growth. Helping people grow, especially in consciousness and awareness, was the very best work I felt I could do. There was nothing more inspiring to me. And I felt that it was something I had to do personally. Because of my particular experiences and skills, I saw that I could make a significant and unique contribution to this field if I were to devote a significant portion of my life to it. Furthermore, if I chose not to make that contribution, something wonderful would be lost. I’m not saying this out of ego or vanity – it was simply that I realized that there was a particular area where I could make a valuable contribution to the world, and if I decided not do it, there would be an unfilled void left in its place. If I didn’t fill that void personally, then among other things, a suicide might have occurred that could have been prevented, as I mentioned in question 3.
The key to succeeding in business isn’t some particular technique or strategy. It’s the why that drives the business. When the purpose behind your business is truly important to you, you’ll be driven to learn the skills and take the actions necessary to succeed. Many people in business don’t even apply what they know. But if you have a great purpose, you’ll use what you know and then some.
The purpose behind my business is a huge source of inspiration for me. My purpose drives me to work on my self-discipline, to stay organized, to keep up with the latest developments in my field, and to write hundreds of free articles. Who cares about fame or fortune when you can experience the privilege of saving a life? In the grand scheme of things, money just isn’t that motivating. Sure it’s nice to have a good income, but once your basic needs are met, money won’t be the driving force behind your work. It has to be something much more meaningful. Basically, the true purpose of your business must be some form of genuine and much needed service to the world.
If you’re thinking about starting a business, ask yourself if there’s a greater need on earth than the one your business idea will address. If there is, and if you’re capable of filling that need to some degree, then dump your original idea, and find a way to fill that need and have it generate plenty of income for you.
7. Mentors
Do you have any mentors? If so who are they and in what areas of your own self development have they helped you?
I have a number of mentors. Some are local friends that coach me on my speaking skills. Others are people who’ve created the books and audio programs I’ve devoured. And finally there are my spiritual mentors.
The last group plays the most significant role in my life. While I’ve gained many ideas from people and books, the best mentoring I receive comes from an internal process which includes meditation and journaling.
Whenever I feel I need guidance, I spend a few hours alone either meditating or journaling at my computer. I ask questions and then wait for answers. At various times I’ve filtered this process through one philosophical framework or another. Depending on your particular belief system, you can think of it as prayer, connecting with spirit guides, channeling, communicating with the subconscious, brainstorming, etc. The mental framework isn’t important. The important part is the act of turning inward and seeking answers from within.
Most of the time I use a journaling program on my computer, and I type up a list of questions. Then I work my way through these questions, listening for answers and typing whatever comes to mind. Whether the answers come from some divine source or my own subconscious, I don’t know. But I almost always get good advice whenever I do this. The advice isn’t always easy to follow, and sometimes I disregard it, but in the long run, it usually turns out to be correct. I’ve been using this process for about 10 years now and have found it invaluable. I’m never at a loss for what to do next.
Continue reading part three of the Steve Pavlina interview…
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Steve Pavlina Interview - Part 1
A few months ago I contacted Steve Pavlina about doing an interview. At the time he was too busy but recently he agreed to participate and today I have the first part for you.
Steve is a self development expert who largely has risen to fame through blogging (his blog is at StevePavlina.com/blog/). Personally I am big believer and executor of self development and Steve is definitely a leader in this field. I have found many of his articles and podcasts to be helpful with my own self development. I’m also impressed by what he has achieved by blogging good content day-in and and day-out. His traffic numbers in the millions of pageviews per month. Of course there is a good reason for this, his materials are powerful resources to help people become, well, better people.
When Steve agreed to be interviewed I wanted to ask some interesting questions. I didn’t want Steve to simply rehash what he has already covered in his blog or ask questions that would result in one-line answers. I decided to ask you, my readers, for input and the results can be found here - Your Questions For An Upcoming Interview With Steve Pavlina. I used what I thought were the most interesting questions, came up with some of my own and then sent them through to Steve.
You are in for a treat!
I came up with some pretty deep questions (as Steve commented) and in typical Steve Pavlina style he’s gone to work and answered with solid insights. Also in typical Steve style they are not short answers, but when it comes to topics such as these you can’t brush over them with a single sentence.
I have taken Steve’s interview and broken it down into three sections which will go live on my blog this week.
Without further ado I give you an interview with Steve Pavlina, self development teacher and blogger.
Interview With Steve Pavlina
by Yaro Starak
Thanks for inviting me to do this interview, Yaro. You and your readers asked some very deep questions.
1. Who Is Steve Pavlina?
For people who have never heard of you Steve, can you please provide a short rundown on who Steve Pavlina is and what we can learn from you?
Funny, that’s a question I often ask myself. Each time the answer is a bit different.
Among other labels that apply, I’m a 34-year-old internet entrepreneur, and I currently run one of the most popular personal development web sites on the Internet, StevePavlina.com. All of the site’s content is free for visitors. I have no products, no customers, no inventory, no employees, and no sales. Yet I make a pretty decent living from the site, in addition to other streams of (mostly passive) income.
Despite having read about 700 books in the field of personal development, I’m a very experiential, hands-on person. I like to dive in and try new things to see what produces results and what’s really just a waste of time. Through my web site I promote an action-oriented, experiential approach to personal development. I also warn people up front not to expect any quick fixes.
Your visitors might like to know that I make a nice living without having a job. I’m not really self-employed either because I don’t trade my time for money. I have no hourly rate. I put technology to work for me, setting up systems like my web site that generate income 24/7. This is actually more secure than any job I know of, since I can’t be fired or laid off, and if a computer breaks down, it’s easily replaceable.
Like many of your visitors, I don’t want to spend so much of my life working just to pay the bills. I feel that we live in an age where intelligent, computer-savvy people should be able to use technology to generate all the income they need in a mostly passive manner. Most of my income is a result of taking advantage of cheap computing power. My preferred method is to create intellectual property. It might take me a few hours to write a new article, but I only have to write it once. If I post that article on my web site, it can be read by thousands of people around the world without costing me anything. That’s where the long-term value delivery occurs. My up-front time investment is fixed, but the long-term value delivery is ongoing because people are still reading articles I’ve written years ago. I earn income by receiving just a small payment for that ongoing value, much less than the value itself. This includes advertising revenue, donations, and affiliate income.
This is a very sustainable business model because I consistently deliver more value to people than I receive in return (most people don’t pay me anything at all), but it’s still more than enough income to live off. Right now I’m grossly undermonetizing my web site. But for me this is a good thing because it means there’s plenty of room for optimization. If I want to increase my income, I can keep providing more of the same, or I can find ways to receive just a little more of that value in return. For example, I can turn some of my content into a book and sell it. There are lots of ways to repackage the existing value and get paid a fair price for it. This business model leaves me with a feeling of abundance instead of a feeling of scarcity. I could enjoy a nice income for years just from the content I’ve already produced.
By unplugging from the tyranny of regular employment, I enjoy a ridiculous amount of freedom. This allows me to spend the bulk of my time working on what I choose to do, not what I have to do. I choose to work on personal growth, to help others grow, and to “have a life.†Sometimes I’ll spend an entire week just reading, meditating, philosophizing, and then writing about any insights I’ve had. And best of all, I get paid for it.
Perhaps the best way to know me is to understand that I strive to live as consciously as possible. I am completely fascinated with life. Why are we here? What is the nature of the universe? How shall we live? I want to spend my life finding answers to these questions instead of making widgets.
2. How To Deal With Apathy
One of the main reasons I believe people fail to achieve what they want in life is because of apathy. Often a path to success is presented, yet the individual fails to take (enough) action to reach desired outcomes. What can people who consistently fail to take action do to beat apathy?
This is a complex question that will take a bit of time to answer, so please excuse the monstrous verbiage. 
Long-term apathy is a result of confusing perception and creation. People who are consistently apathetic think they are passively perceiving reality when in fact they are actually creating it.
Let me ‘splain.
If you’re feeling apathetic, you may be looking at your reality and noticing that nothing inspires you. Everything appears flat and lifeless. What’s the point of this existence? Perhaps it’s just about survival, and mere survival isn’t going to leave you overflowing with passion. You’re more likely to feel bored or depressed. You might have occasional bursts of positive emotion, but that won’t be your default state of being.
What you must understand is that there is no such thing as passive perception. All perception is a form of creation. You may think that you’re merely perceiving and interpreting external reality, but in fact you are simultaneously creating it. Your apathetic thoughts are creating your experience of reality, such that all you perceive is an apathetic universe.
Imagine a person wearing glasses with red lenses. The world may be full of blue, but those glasses will create the perception of red everywhere. The person will be unable to perceive the color blue accurately. Similarly, if you perceive a world that leaves you feeling empty or depressed, it’s because you’re wearing the glasses of apathy or depression. You may have been wearing those glasses for so long that you forgot they’re on your face right now. You’ve been assuming that your perceptions of reality are accurate when of course they’re permanently tainted by your glasses. Your apathetic glasses ensure that you continue to receive apathy-producing inputs from your environment.
Apathetic thoughts create the experience of an apathy-producing universe. As within, so without.
So what’s the solution? The solution is to take off the glasses of apathy, and them stomp on them until they’re broken.
Recognize that apathetic thoughts are in fact creative and not merely perceptive. Most people never make this realization in their entire lives, but those that understand it gain the ability to solve problems they never could before. Once you understand that your seemingly perceptive thoughts are actually creative, you gain the ability to choose what you wish to create. If you decide to remove the glasses of apathy, you will soon begin perceiving colors you’ve never seen before. You’ll begin to see purpose and meaning everywhere. You could be all alone staring off into space, and it will be an experience rich in purpose and meaning. You’ll live in a state of utter fascination with life.
Perhaps the simplest way to remove the glasses of apathy is via the power of intention. Simply say to the universe, “Show me what lies beyond the glasses of apathy.†Put some thought energy into that intention, and expect that it will manifest. Then let it go, and wait. Usually without about 24-48 hours, you’ll begin to have experiences that are incongruent with your glasses of apathy, and the lenses will start to crack. The downside is that in terms of levels of consciousness, the next step up from apathy is sadness, and beyond that… fear and anger. So the path out of apathy is likely to progress through negative emotions before you’re able to feel positive and inspired. If you start feeling bad, that’s actually a step in the right direction. You will pull out of it soon enough.
I believe the greatest challenge we face as human beings is to learn how to use our consciousness. All conscious thought is creative. Whenever you think you’re perceiving the world, stop and consider for a moment that you may in fact be creating it. Perception and creation are intricately intertwined. If you think you aren’t creating, then recognize that you just had a thought to create the experience of not creating, which itself is a creative thought. So there’s no escaping it.
Most human beings abuse the power of consciousness by denying their creative participation in life. It’s like being a god who uses his powers to make himself powerless. If you say, “Let me be powerless,†you lose your powers. Once you do that, you can’t simply restore your powers by saying, “Let me be powerful again.†You’ve already nuked your powers, so you no longer have access to the switch to turn them back on again. The rebuilding process takes time. A significant part of being human is to find our way back to that power switch.
There was a time in my early 20s when I felt completely apathetic about life. It was hard for me just to get out of bed in the morning, and I often didn’t get up until 2-3pm. It took me many years to gradually understand how my own thoughts were creating my life, when all along I assumed I was just perceiving reality and then reacting to the cards I was dealt. I never suspected that I was the one stacking the deck.
If you’re feeling apathetic, you’re not broken. Based on what you’re perceiving, a feeling of apathy is actually the correct response. The mistake is failing to recognize that you’re the one creating the apathetic reality in the first place. Your outer experience is a projection of your internal state.
If you have an accurate model of reality, then what emotional state will you experience? Should you expect to feel emotionally neutral? No, if you’re feeling neutral, then your model of reality is still inaccurate. You’re just wearing the glasses of neutrality instead of apathy. If your perception of reality is accurate, then the default emotional state you’ll experience would be best described as the state of joy – a feeling of intense, pervasive happiness. Why? Because when you recognize that your thoughts are creative, you’ll consciously choose to create joy.
It was sometime in 2005 that I finally “got it†at a deep enough level and recognized that consciousness gives me the freedom to create my own inner experience at all times, and my inner reality projects outward into the world and then feeds back into my perceptions. From that point onward, I began experiencing an intense feeling of happiness. At first it came in brief bursts lasting up to a few hours. I just began feeling absolutely incredible, without there being any external stimulus to trigger it. But after several months, a feedback loop was eventually created, such that the state of joy locked in permanently and never switched off. That feeling is still with me 24/7.
Joy runs deeper than any normal emotion. It’s like a persistent background hum in my consciousness. It’s like listening to music in the background while I do other tasks. The music is always playing, but I can choose to focus on it directly and experience it fully, or I can tune it out and do other things. When I first started experiencing this state of joy, I frequently found it overwhelming. I’d be going for my morning run, making dinner, or doing some other everyday task, and out of nowhere I’d feel an intense surge of happiness such that tears would literally stream down my face. It was like someone came up and injected me with something, but of course no drugs were involved.
Eventually I found the volume knob and was able to regain control. Now if I want to experience joy, all I need to do is to ask myself, “Where is the joy?†I tap into the feeling that’s already there and focus my intention on it, and that intensifies the feeling. I can feel it right now as I type this. But if I want to turn down the volume, I just focus my attention on something else, such as my breathing.
I still experience negative emotions from time to time, especially frustration, but when I recognize that I’m creating those feelings, I turn my attention back to the joy by asking, “Where is the joy?†And soon the feeling of joy burns off the negative feelings and comes to the forefront. It’s like turning up the music volume until it drowns out all other sounds.
Living in this state has had a profound effect on me. I don’t need any material possessions or any externally measurable success to be happy. I work from a state of happiness, not for it. I don’t feel like I’m extracting joy from experiences. Rather it feels like I’m injecting joy into them. The joy is this outward-flowing, ever-present awareness.
I very much want to help others achieve this state because it’s so empowering. But it’s not remotely easy to get to this point. There are vast expanses of conscious development that have to be crossed first. It took many years of working on my growth, which included a great deal of struggle and frustration. I don’t expect anyone reading this who feels apathetic to say, “Oh duh. I’ll just think the way Steve does.†But perhaps reading this will plant a seed in your consciousness that will get you moving in the direction of joy.
3. Making A Difference
I know you receive a lot of positive feedback from your audience. Can you share the single most powerful piece of feedback you have received?
Perhaps the most impactful piece of feedback I received was a letter from a man telling me that my blog had saved his life. He said he was suicidal and had actually made the decision to kill himself. While searching online for the best way to do it, he stumbled upon my web site and started reading. He said he read for 6-7 hours straight. And by the time he was done, he no longer had any desire to take his own life.
After reading this letter, I felt an intense surge of gratitude. I feel very lucky that I’m in a position where I can have this kind of impact on people. I also feel a deep sense of responsibility to do my very best, knowing that for some people, it actually is a matter of life and death.
This is a fairly dramatic example, but it goes to show that writing from your heart can do more than just help people manage their inbox.
Continue reading part two of the Steve Pavlina interview…
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